Hey dad, have you seen my sunglasses?
Dad: No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
Hey Dad, what is that black sticky stuff in the small jars called?
I don't know son, but your ma might.
Stolen from: Dad Jokes
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
"Hey dad, I'm trans"
"I have no son"
"Thanks for supporting me"
I'm sure this has been done but it got a chuckle out of me
Edit wow, I wasn't expecting an award. Thank you kind stranger!
Hey dad did you get a haircut?
No son I got them all cut!
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Hey Dad, you wanna come to Yoga class with me?
Dad: Namaste home instead
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. “Hey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
Dad, hey can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?
Hey dad's, what's your ringtone?
Mine's brown, like everybody else's.
"Hey Dad, Go to Sleep!"
No son, I'm resisting-a-rest.
My son, apparently an 7yo dad says to me... " Hey dad, what's the alien say to the cat?"
"Take me to your litter"
He's been working on his joke game. V.proud.
Me: Hey, Dad, is that a man standing next to an igloo over there?
Dad: It's just an Aleutian.
I got dad joked by my 3 year old daughter at dinner today: "Hey do you have a bun?" I asked her.
"NO I WANT A WHOLE BUN"
She's well on her way to being the dad I never had
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
My 10 year old son said, “Hey Dad, do you know why I want to shoot a hog?”
“So we can have hamburgers!”
He was serious but it still cracked me up.
Hey dad, I’m hungary
Maybe Czech the pantry for some snacks
5 y/o: “hey dad, make some more jokes please
dad: “why do i need to make more jokes? i’ve already made you
Hey dad, how do you feel?
I feel with my hands.
That was my dad’s go to, directly followed by: dad: can I make you a sandwich
Me: sure
Dad: (does magic hands) poof you’re a sandwich
It’s almost 3 years since he died. I miss his joke every damn day.
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why
Hey dad? Are we pyromaniacs?
I finally started to learn how to use a computer. My son said; "Hey Dad, you're getting betah".
And I said: "Betah? But I thought I was 1.0!"
Son: Hey dad, you wanna play Among Us?
Dad: Sure, but what are we playing?
Hey dad can I ask you a question?
Me: Hey dad, tell me your best dad joke.
Dad: I don’t have any dad jokes because all of my jokes are funny
Dad: "Hey, do you know where I can get a vocal ensemble?"
Music Director: "Don't you mean a choir?"
Dad: "Ok, How do I acquire a vocal ensemble?"
My dad says to me,"Hey,let's go fishing! We'll take the canoe."
I told him,"It's actually pronounced"gnu."The "g" is silent!
"Hey dad, what does gay mean?" The boy asked his dad
Soon just got me without this one: "Hey Dad, want to hear a construction joke?"
Give me a second I'm still working on it.
Dad: Hey, don’t forget— tomorrow is Father’s Day.
Me: Don’t forget its son day too.
Son: "Hey Dad, Happy 25th Anniversary. Jeez! Almost all my friend's parents are divorced. What did you have to do to stay married for this long?"
Hey Kid you wanna hear a dad joke ?
No dad , am a kid tell a kid joke
"Hey dad, I'm taking a shower"
"Alright, make sure to bring it back"
Son: "Hey Dad, how does a sundial work?"
*Dad hands Son a phone*
Dad: "Ok, now just call someone."
Son: "Why can't you do it?"
Dad: "Because that would be a daddial."
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’m glad you all liked it! :)
Son: Hey Dad, what’s for dinner?
Me: food
Son: what kind of food?
Me: good food
Son: sigh, what kind of good food?
Me: really, good food
Me: what time do you want to eat?
Son: dinnertime
...... very good my young padawan
"Hey Dad what's a forklift?"
SON: “Hey, Dad! This newspaper says the moon is going broke.”
DAD: “Why is it going broke?”
SON: “The paper says it’s going into its last quarter.”
Dad: Hey son did you know that there was a kidnapping at a school today?
Son: What happened
Father: The teacher woke him up
Kid: Hey dad what flavor are those chips you are eating?
A kid says to his dad: "Hey dad what flavor are those chips you are eating?"
Dad: "My chips!"
Kid: "OK. But, what flavor are those chips?"
Dad: "My chips!"
Kid: "Seriously dad, what flavor are those chips?"
Dad reaches down, grabs the bag of chips, holds them up, points at the label and says: "I said they were my chips. See it says clearly on the bag Nachos."
Hey Dad could you give me a hand please?
I already gave you two, so what's the third one for?
"Hey Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
Hey Dad did you get a haircut?
No son, I got them all cut
“Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”
"No son, have you seen my dadglasses?"
Hey dad, what is a solar eclipse?
“Hey dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”
“No son, have you seen my dadglasses?”
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