Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Head and shoulders

Should make a body wash.... And call it Knees and toes.

Cracked this gem tonight, have to say it got a chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H4WK1RK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Giving my one year old boy a shoulder ride when I lifted him up and put him on my head...

Turned to the wife and said "Do you like what I'm wearing?" (Lulling her into a false sense of security)
She smiles at me, blissfully unaware of my setup and thinking I'm just being cute.
"It's a son-hat." I say with a grin.
The groan she gave me told me I had done well.

πŸ‘︎ 434
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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So my dad was talking about Head and Shoulders shampoo

So naturally I said, "What about Knees and Toes?"

Got him with the reverse-dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tivonsssss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

πŸ‘︎ 990
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What do you find in a cannibals shower?

Head and shoulders

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What did Jeffrey Dahmer keep in his shower?

Heads and Shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Two vegans were travelling through a desert...

A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.

A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.

The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.

The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"

"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.

The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Conflict of Interest: Romance vs. A Perfectly Executed Dad Joke

So I'm texting a guy I like. There was a miscommunication in text and he thought I called him shampoo. We were teasing each other about it for a minute when he said, "I am insulted."

To which I replied, "No. You are shampoo."

Think he'll still date me?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctrembs03
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2014
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A sculptor was finishing a statue

As soon as he finished it he accidentally knocked it over and it broke clean at the shoulders. The sculptor picks up the head looks and it and says, well looks like this one is a bust.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepper2619
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Apparently Baghdadi had dandruff

They found his head and shoulders

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I got dadjoked by my 11 yo son.

After his baseball game, we picked up some take-out food for the family. Driving home and now dark, he and I see three people walking along the shoulder of our street, all wearing dark clothes. I almost hit one of them. I say, shaking my head, "Look at these idiots, wearing dark clothes at night...someone's gonna get run over."

He replies, from the back seat, "Yeah...they're not too bright."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCbullet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
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Did you know the girl eaten by the shark in Jaws had dandruff?

Her head and shoulders washed up on the beach.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theisiscrisis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Been thinking about starting a massage parlore that is also a bakery

Gonna name it Head, Shoulders, Kneeds, and Doughs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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My anti-dandruff shampoo worked really well for me.

It was head and shoulders above the competition.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Wife is driving, we're pulling through a fastfood drive through...

She asks me 'Do you have your wallet handy?'
Its in my back pocket so I reply 'Nope! It's currently ass-y.' (I then retrieve my wallet amidst being smacked around my head and shoulders)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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My room mate everyone

My girlfriend freaked herself out because our shower curtain was closed for some reason.

Me: Chris, are you hiding dead bodies in our shower again?

Him: No, just head and shoulders!

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DogOnPot
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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Talking to a dentistry student during a club meeting the other day.

We're on the exec team of the student run swim club at our university and were discussing who will be coaching the groups next season.

She mentioned that she "could probably do some fill-ins for another coach if they need the night off".

So I then asked her if she "could do some fill-ings too?"

Took a moment, then there was a collective groan from the rest of the group and a fist headed to my shoulder. Ouch.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_wilson3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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my father in-law is the annoying king of dadjokes. pulled out this monster today

My wife was telling her mom about a story she read online about a crazy boyfriend who cut his girlfriends young sons head off. Her mom freaks out and goes omg where? Dad responds right above the shoulders where else

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaronfitz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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I heard the police raided my neighbors house on suspicion of a brutal murder...

... When they charged into the bathroom they found Head and Shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHattGuy
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2016
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Dadjoke in the car

Mom left her coat in the restaurant and almost forgot about it

Mom: "I've been a little flakey lately"

Dad: "I recommend head and shoulders."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fortune188
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2014
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Boyfriend got me last night...

Boyfriend was on FaceTime telling me about how he was going downhill biking tomorrow, and I told him "Please try not to break." (he's been having shoulder problems lately so I was referring to that.) His response: Oh I will, probably around every corner. winks He died laughing as I shook my head in despair...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LanaDelNeighh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2014
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Got my gf good last week

So me and my gf were on the way back from a Front Bottoms concert in London, getting a lift back with her dad and shes telling the story of the night to him when she gets onto the topic of her photography and says:

"I love my new camera, I was able to zoom in & retain great quality! I got some sweet pictures of the lead singers head and shoulders"

To which I chimed in with:

"Yeah, you should have tried to get his knees and toes as well!"

I can still hear the groans now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12Skip-a-few99100
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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What's the best product to use on a dog with dandruff?

Head and Four Shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sec713
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2014
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Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I just squeezed the shampoo bottle a little too hard

Head and Shoulders on my knees and toes, knees and toes

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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