I'm making a new documentary about hay-fever, called 'My Nose.'

My Nose will be streaming soon.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Not mine but hay, its still pretty good
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/W4ffl3copter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Hay bales under a buck
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HulkHoff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...

Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phlatbroke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he found out that his tractor was missing?

Where's my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navneeth_Menon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My daughter wants a horse...

But first we need a stable income.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ehmeyekayee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Made from whole hay (Made by Vincent Trinidad)
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, β€œTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”

It might be farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey! There’s hay in the road! v.redd.it/jss1e9ygnwh31
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRousse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say upon receiving fodder for his livestock?

'rice and shine, it's new hay!'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dclxviazazel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
People who identify as hay can now get married.

They just have to find a bale bondsman.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wingerd33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend told me"I'm pregnant"

With years of waiting I finally said "Hay pregnant I'm dad" "No, no you are not" she responded

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drdebica
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake

She's a nightmare

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a bale of hay's favourite fruit?

A straw-berry

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EternalMotivation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.

The horse didn’t feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. β€œAre you sneaking outside food into the theater?”

The horse said β€œnay.”

The pig squealed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A True Dark Horse Candidate [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the horse get on his blood test

B Neigh-getive

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propagansus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Hay, y'all!
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flimsy_Classic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 687
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I arrested some hay after it pricked my finger, but I've heard it left the country

This wouldn't have happened if judge had set a higher bale.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Passed a farm with a sign that said "selling hay", but there was noone there

They might get more business selling "hello's" or "hi's"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P_mp_n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I've had enough of people stealing my hay...

It's the last straw

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machi_koro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have hay-fever at the moment

Snot funny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bansel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
They recently banned cylindrical hay bales in North Dakota

The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrokenheroReddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

πŸ‘︎ 260
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently heard that the agriculture industry will be discontinuing baling hay in big rolls

The livestock can’t get a square meal!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldwahsatch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy I knew tried to steal some hay but he got caught and was sent to prison.

I had to bale him out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxxbreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was cutting hay today when all the workers left!

I don't know why they baled on me...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_frankenstein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What's a Horse's favourite Beatles song?

Hay Chewed..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontmeenafing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonder-er
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?

Cows weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aussietin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The fda has decided to outlaw the round hay bails.

It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jablothegreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flyersfan3452
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked if I would help him move hay on the farm the other day...

I didn’t want to so I bailed

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaseo2017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer stop using round bales of hay?

Because his cows weren’t getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3oons
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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