She vented.
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
It really crΓͺped up on us this year didn't it!
She said "What's he doing? Is this normal??? It isn't even Easter".
I said "Oh him? That's Egg-Sell-Ent"
He was Satired'
And chill out.
A new last name.
Theyβre all pretty brainless.
Why do you beehive like this?
I just needed something to fall back on
The Bucharest.
I asked this question of my gf and she looked at me oddly and asked how.
Well your legs become a ruler after a long shift.
She looks at me, knowing something's coming. "And how's that?"
Well you always complain that they're a king after a long shift. A king is a ruler, so your legs can measure things.
Took her a minute. Got something thrown at me. Good times.
In an effort to cheer him up, his wife says βHoney I have great news! I found a great deal on a vacation for us next week! Weβre going to Peru!β The husband says βPeru?! Thatβs fantastic! Alpaca suitcase!β
I was like, "askews me!"
Just ice
And he says, "bartender I've a had a really hard day at work I need a drink." And the bartender then says, "wait you're a piece of string, I can't serve you!" So the string leaves. Then he gets an idea, he ties himself in a knot and unravels his ends. Then he walks back in and the bartender says, "hey aren't you that string that just left?" To which he replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Me: "Man, I am exhausted, I busted my ass today."
Dad: "I can tell, there's a crack in it."
On at least a weekly basis, he will come up and start talking about something. Usually it isn't until half way through I realize he is working it into a joke. They are dad jokes through and through. Figured I would start sharing them as they happen.
So there was a prison break today. They haven't caught him yet. Apparently he is a psychic and a midget. The media is reporting there is a small medium at large.
We were riding in the car and drove past a dead animal the other day...
Fiancee: "Did I tell you about the time I hit a frog while driving?... It was so gross. I didn't go back to see if it was still alive though."
Me: "I bet it croaked."
Groans were had, to say the least...
