With great power

Comes great electricity bills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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With great power comes...

...a lot of work over a short time.

Probably not Watt you expected, right? I currently currently feel a little resistance to this joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_goldn_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Great power, great responsibility, etc.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_controller
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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With great power...

..Comes greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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[True Story] My son had a great day power boating - my wife asked if it all went off without a hitch...

I’m like, that’s nearly impossible!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmoneynchange
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Mum told a great dad-joke whilst the power was off.

So the power has been off the past day and it suddenly turned back on, bringing all the lights in the house back on with it. It stayed on for about 10 seconds before going off again, and mum quickly went:

Mum: "Quick everyone raise your hands up above your head!"

Everyone: "Why?"

Mum: "Many hands make light work"

Everyone: Groans

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colossal_Harry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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With great power.

Son was pretending to use the remote as a wand. "Avada Kedavra!" Looked at him. "You just killed the TV."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Did you hear about the new Chinese-German fusion restaurant?

The food is great but an hour later you're hungry for power.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brahkce
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?

Because... with great power comes great response ability!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mighty_Platypus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Great and Powerful Daddish One

So a long while back, my brother picked out a Father's Day card for my dad that sang various silly praises to the person receiving it. One of those was a deep voice going, "All HAIL the great and powerful DADDISH ONE!" Naturally, our dad loved it.

In fact, he loved it so much that any time there's a disagreement between any of us and he turns out to be the one who's right, there will be a reminder that he is the Great and Powerful Daddish One. Over eight years down the road. Every single time. My mom and I still think it's hilarious.

It drives my brother up the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gargus-SCP
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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True
πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kavate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassicbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Just a dad thing to do

So one thing I love doing when people ask me what I said because they couldn’t hear me is talking softer every time they ask β€œwhat?” Be careful though. With great power comes great responsibility

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caleb213126
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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More power to them...

Helped my son move and left the U-Haul back door open when empty; didn’t want to tempt anyone from thinking something was in it. He said what if they steal the light?

More power to them I said.

I didn’t even catch my own joke. He had to point it out. He’s got a great future ahead of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TxRam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O too” β€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your β€œstyle.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies β€œFor you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: β€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.” β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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The true origin of Peter Parker's spider sense

With great power comes great response ability

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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My electricity bill spiked when I plugged in my anti-procrastination machine.

I guess with great power comes great responsibility.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Met the Manager for the first time, gave him a dad joke, now I'm the favorite

BACK STORY:
So I got a new job through one of my good friends, and while working with him I shook hands with my boss Chad, awesome guy. As we were making small talk I was stuttering a bit, and my good friend, Neil, loves messing with me about it.
Me: Yeah, that sounds g-g-great
Neil: T-T-TODAY JUNIOR, jeez can your mouth ever talk straight?
Chad: Hey it's legal now so if his mouth wants that, it's none of my business and more power to him.
Me: But my mouth is bi
Neil:Bi what?
Me: Bi my nose

Chad laughed hard, this will be a great job. More dad jokes to come, I'm sure

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendMeASmile
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
🚨︎ report
With great power

Comes great electricity Bill

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pillar_man_5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
With great power comes...

A huge electricity bill.

πŸ‘︎ 513
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P00PB0YY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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With great power comes a huge electricity bill.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprice-3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
With great power

Comes great electricity bills

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Madhav_hkm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
With great power comes a great electricity bill
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FIGHTSONG_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
With great power comes

A huge electricity bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zain_Farooq
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Spider-Man always have such good comebacks?

Because, with great power comes great response ability

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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A wise man once said

With great power comes great electricity bills

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/black-widow-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?

Because with great power, comes great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsakSolarInte
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leianarodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Spiderman have such good comebacks?

Because with great power comes with great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnetteWithFish
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Spiderman always have such good comebacks

Because with great power comes great response abilities

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetusthejesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sardbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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