What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
My lawn care guy had to give up mowing when his mower broke down.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
Iβve decided to give up drinking and replace booze with mashed potato...
I guess you could say Iβll just be getting sMASHED from now on.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries werenβt actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...
"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
I've been Internet hacking for almost thirty years, and now I want to give it up.
Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?
π︎ 71
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Added Never Gonna Give You Up to my Spotify playlist and put it on shuffle. I call it, "Rick Roulette"
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 19 2020
My farmer friend is moving, so he had to give up his horses for adoption.
They are now being raised in a stable environment.
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 21 2020
I've had to give up my clock-eating hobby
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
Which ghost will never give you up?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
I hear Trump has decided to give up golf...
He spent too much time in the bunker.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
What do you call an antelope that never gives up?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 10 2020
Never gonna give this personβs spelling up
π︎ 234
π
︎ May 01 2019
I give up
π︎ 49
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Rick Astley played βNever gonna give you upβ while rapidly moving downhill sideways
Itβs called Rick Rolling
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
I busted my guitar up but Iβll give it to you for free.
Really. No strings attached.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
If I had to give up one of my senses,
I'd give up my sense of humor
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
I was scheduled to teach a course in Origami, but then decided to give up.
π︎ 344
π
︎ May 19 2019
Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.
I really should get past this phase.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Wife : "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment to cheer me up"
"You have perfect eyesight"
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
Autocorrect screws up so much, I'm just fresh out of ducks to give.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
Why did the guitar player have to give up playing after the traffic accident?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Due to a liver problem, I was advised to give up alcohol.
So I now identify as M, I gave up the ale
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Give up your hip workout.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Let's give it up for the folks fornicating at midnight
It's a great way to start the decade off with a bang.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Never gonna give you up
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
I had to give up my habit of eating clocks
It was just too time consuming
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
Why did the egg give up?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 24 2019
Customer- "Give me your dryest wine you've got" Bartender- "Sure mate coming right up"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
Why donβt vultures ever give up?
They just keep calm and carrion
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag. Trainer walks up and says "what gives?"
Boxer says "I'm exercising my rights"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 06 2017
My old girlfriend came up to me and tried to give me a hug, but was shocked...
Ex-static to see me she was!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
I used to work in a muffler shop, but I had to give it up...
because it was exhausting.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 23 2019
After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. Itβs time to move on and stop living in ...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
I give up
π︎ 42
π
︎ Feb 11 2019
What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to a dinner party?
π︎ 98
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
Never gonna give you up
π︎ 21
π
︎ Feb 28 2019
A man gives up his twin sons for adoption at birth.
Many years later the dad finds out one boy was adopted by a Mexican family and the other by a Muslim family.
The son from the Mexican family, Juan, reaches out to the dad as an adult and the two meet. They have a great time reconnecting and the dad finds out his other son is named Amal.
At the end of the day Juan asks his dad if he wants to meet his other son. The dad declines. Juan asks why and the dad says, βif youβve seen Juan, youβve seen Amal.β
π︎ 96
π
︎ Dec 26 2018
I had to give up my vegetarian diet
Turns theyβre a lot harder to catch than cows
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
I had to give up on my idea to create a miniature flamethrower
It was burning a hole in my pocket
π︎ 46
π
︎ Jun 04 2019
I think this year, Iβm going to give my belly button up for lint.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
Why wouldnβt the oyster give up her pearl?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to a dinner party?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
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