A list of puns related to "Get It Up"
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
He replied "Chai, nah".
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Ladies
I know he means well.
‘Cos she’s worth it.
I went full sexist pig, “YOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”
She replied coldly, “No, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
I guffawed, “I can’t believe that, show me!”
So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS!”
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"
"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes." comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing."
"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."
Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:
"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"
I said "Sssshh! These are my sleeping quarters" and pointed to some change I had on the bedside table. She was stunned, then she groaned and walked out.
A Mac attack
"Are you going to answer that call anytime today?" yelled my wife.
"No," I replied. "Probably a simple 'hello' will suffice."
It's a knick knack, patty whack. Give a frog a loan?
It has ereptile dysfunction
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
And he went "Neigh! Neigh!"
The son says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three different pet stores before I found one that sold toucans.".
It was really jarring!
I didn't like it, but it started to grow on me
“I’m glad I mustered the energy, since you couldn’t catch up. Get it? Mustered.”
I'm sitting here on the couch watching him run back and forth across the room while he makes race car noises. After a few minutes, I ask him what he's doing.
He replies, "I'm passing stool!"
...What have I created?
...."I think your refrigerator is broken. This ice is coming out melted!"
Yesterday, we had a birthday for my daughter. Her cupcakes had her nickname (Mae, like mine) on three, a letter per cupcake. She ate the A.
Around 10ish this morning I realized only M and E were left. So I knew exactly what I wanted to do..
When my son came home from school, he asked what after school snack was.
Me "I was gonna say cupcakes, but they have my name on them"
Him "...M and E?"
Me "uh, yeah. That's ME."
Women
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