G Sides Puns

He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

Wife: "Why are you shouting?"

Me: "Because you're on the other side of the road. "

There are more birds on that side.

I think she’s seeing other people on the side.

It’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and im currently feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

To get to the other side effects.

~~ brazenly stolen from Alexa with my own twist.

Good side is that when I do a handshake, I do it literally.

(Condition is inoperable brain tumour)

A motor-pike and side-carp.

He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.

I found out she was seeing someone on the side

Except here, they’re in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

So, I’m standing outside my office building with my older, wiser coworker, when he points up at a flock of geese flying in a V.

Me: [looks at the geese coworker is pointing to]

Coworker: “you notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?”

Me: “yeah”

Coworker: “do you know why that is?”

Me: “hmm... no”

Coworker: “there’s more birds on that side”

He didn't. He was already ON the other side!

Because he was never really on your side.

To get in touch with the other side.

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

Sunni side up.

Still one of my best so here's the set up.

I take my wife on a cruise for her birthday. Each night during dinner they have a section of things you would not normally try but you're on a cruise so try it. Anyway one night they had braised ox tongue. So I order it and get a side eye from the wife while doing so. It arrives and I had correctly anticipated her question. Anyway here's the conversation...

Braised ox tongue appetizer is set before me. I cut a small piece and put in it my mouth and begin to chew.

Wife: Well, how is it?!? Me: (slowly looking up) it's... tasty.
W: Did you really order that just to make that joke? Me: yes, yes I did.

In all actuality it was quite good.

I turned it on its side, now it’s endless opportunity.

"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"

"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

Her: what?

Me: ... What IS that?!

Her: what's what?

Me: there's someone on the side of your face...

Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face

Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!

¿Qué dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?

“¡PA’CA! ¡PA’CA!”

English:

What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?

“Over here! Over here!”

(“Pa’ca” means “over here” in colloquial Spanish)

(I’m of Cuban descent for reference)

“Oh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

“You’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked “who is he?”

The priest responded “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.

But that's okay, because that means I'll be looking at the bright side of life!

...with a raw egg propped up on the other side.

She asks: "What are you doing?"

He responds: "Well this pancake recipe says I need one beaten egg..."

"So... you decided to play it in a chess game?"

"Well yeah, but the darn egg keeps winning!"

My hands for always staying by my side

My legs for helping me stand up

And my fingers because I could always count on them

It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.

To say hello from the other side

When he looked down at his nametag, it was the right side up to him.

We didn't see eye to eye and I think she was seeing someone on the side.

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.

One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, “one ship off the port side!” Immediately the captain yells at his crew, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!”

Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!

The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they don’t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.

A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, “Two ships off the port side!” Quickly the captain screams, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!” The crew doesn’t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!

The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could not find anyone better. This time though the crew stops a moment and asks the captain, “Why do you always have us bring you your red shirt?”

The captain replies, “Well men, if I get stabbed the blood will blend into my red shirt and it will look like I’m not hurt so that you will all fight as hard as if I were still alive.”

The men can’t believe what they hear! How could they be so lucky as to have a captain so incredibly smart and courageous??!!

Two seconds later, “TWENTY SEVEN SHIPS OFF THE PORT SIDE!!!!!!!”

Calmly, with an even tone, the captain says, “Men, bring me my brown pants.”

Because on the other side, it saw a great hopportunity!

That when geese fly South for the winter in a V formation one side of the V is always longer than the other. You know why ?

.

There are more geese in that line

to get to the otter side

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

Because the chicken was on its wrong side.

There's more ducks on that side.

(As told by my father)

There's more geese on that side.

To say hello from the other side

To the other side