So I caught a frog and a toad having a great time in my backyard just the other day.

They were playing a game of croquet.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/logansworth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Whatโ€™s the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

Whatโ€™s the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says ribbit-ribbit. A horny toad says rub-it rub-it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bunsofsteel_MRI_boy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Mama Frog was really struggling with her youngest, Little Hop. He couldnโ€™t seem to sit still!

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, sheโ€™d say to Little Hop, โ€œIf you keep on keepinโ€™ on hoppin around all aimless, Iโ€™m gonna turn you into a toad!โ€

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frogโ€™s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

โ€œI toad you so.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/martianrome
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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So a frog's cousin went to a bar....

... on Friday night and parked in a zone that allowed 24 hour parking on weekends, but only 2 hour parking during the week. While he was there, a family member slipped something into his drink and sold him to a gang that traffics in frog legs. After the amputation he was taken to a hospital. He woke up to his mother telling him him the story you just read. He was a bit froggy from the sedatives, so he said "whaaaa?".

She replied: "I to'd you, toad, you got towed because you we're de-toed by de toad.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dakkamakka
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€


Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/saforester
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

A frog says, "ribbit, ribbit, ribbit." A horny toad says, "rubbit, rubbit, rubbit."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 40
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SyllabaryBisque
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KwMemeMan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2018
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What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says ribbit ribbit, the other says rub it rub it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/avenlanzer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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What's the difference between a Frog and Horny toad?

A frog says, โ€˜Ribbit, ribbitโ€™ and a horny toad says, โ€˜Rub it, rub it.โ€™โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Syeq
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FunnyGenious
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_solidwarp_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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