My dad asked me if I had heard of Murphy's Law
I said "Yes, dad. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong".
He then asked me if I had heard of Coles Law
"No, dad. What is that one"?
He says, "thinly sliced cabbage".
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
Frank slipped on a hot dog and hit his wife.
My Mother-in-law is 80% Irish
Let me be frank with you for a minute
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
I can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs...
I think I've got the crooner virus.
What does a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common?
They both have to pass the bar
Guys, to be frank
I’d have to change my name...
They passed a law banning hindsight
I wish I knew this beforehand
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his mother-in-law?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
it is against the law to pester and bother the large aquatic grass eating animals
this is considered crimes against hugh manatee
Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel
You can only use a low ha
In Texas it's illegal to serve pie without ice cream.
As a matter of Texan pride; remember the à la mode.
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
Dad: “... and if I’m being frank you are acting terrible about it”
Child: “ if you are being frank who is being dad?”
Actual conversation I heard in the store
An unprepared law student walked into a bar exam...
A good lawyer knows the law...
A great lawyer knows the judge.
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?
An ill eagle
(Credit to my first grader 😊)
Did you hear about the law they just passed in Hawaii prohibiting loud laughter?
Your laughter must be kept to a low "Ha".
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own hands...
What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a mother in law
How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much, they're actually pretty light!
I asked my future father-in-law for his daughter's hand in marriage.
He said I hope you take the rest of her too!!
Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)
My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby
I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"
Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.
BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!
Old but gold
I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden
How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
An Astrologist and Law Enforcement Officer are on a date
Astrologist: I’m an Aries, what’s your sign?
Cop: I’m a LEO.
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
What is the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?
What do lawyers wear in court?
Dad joke face off
I have been challenged to a dad joke face off. I need at least 20 dad jokes that will make someone laugh before I do to win a tournament. Give me your best!
I’m always Frank with my sexual partners
I don’t want them to know my real name.
I told my mother-in-law there's a leek in her sink.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
My Father-in-law told me he was being 100% Frank...
... I told him I just wanted him to be 100% David.
You all know Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know his brother Frank
I can't stop singing Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs.
I think I have croonervirus
To be Frank
I’d have to change my name
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that you’re no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...
Now you can only use a low ha
Did you know in the 1950’s Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?
Now you can only do a-low-ha
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?
She couldn't pass the bar.
You've heard of Newton's laws, but have you heard of Cole's law?
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