http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-32817114
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
In light of the recent Cellar Boxing revelations, I think it’s best if I post some connections I’ve made so we can potentially uncover what other games are being played behind the scenes.
Especially after u/Criand edited his comment and left this:
I’m too smooth brained to understand that comment, but I’m pretty sure I’ve come across futures+swaps in here. We'll cover a big chunk of the network of bankers, high-frequency traders, legislations, ownerships and where it all points to. Feel free to correct anything and note that none of this is financial advice, I’ll probably add lots of edits so stay tuned. Also lots of speculation (duh).
Citigroup, Glass-Steagall, crisis of ‘08, naked shorting and Robinhood
Travelers Citicorp mega-merger
- Stitched together in the 1990s by CEO and Chairman Sandy Weill and in the process of more than 100 acquisitions (mergers) helped bury the Glass-Steagall act
- The ‘98 merger of Weill’s Travelers Group and John S. Reed’s Citicorp (First Bank of New York) would enable Travelers to market mutual funds and insurance to Citicorp's retail customers while giving the banking divisions access to an expanded client base of investors and insurance buyers
- One of the mergers ended up as Salomon Smith Barney, who was the lead underwriter or a book-running manager (same thing) *for Gamestop IPO in 2002
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
