Filet Minion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catzardo330
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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The butcher kept getting my order wrong. He gave me a porterhouse instead of a filet mignon!

He said it was a mis-steak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Filet mignon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minkcoat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Why did the fish filet call the police?

It was battered.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I once knew a guy who cut small sculptures from Filet Minion.

Apparently, that medium is rare, but it’s the steak of the art.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matraxia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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A friend of mine posted this picture of her toddler with the caption, "Looks like we're having Filet Minion for dinner."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElGuaco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
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Last Valentine's, I took my girlfriend to a steakhouse and ordered 2 Filet Mignons for myself.

They were so delicious, not having one would have been a missed steak...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalGilSolid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?

A filet mid-yawn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gmoneyboiswag69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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What do you call a servant that only serves steak?

A filet minion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slagsy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What does Gru (from Despicable Me) like to eat for dinner?

Filet minion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Heard about the price of meat going up?

The steaks are very high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarski
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Uncle Kracker's order at the deli

"Give me roast beef, boys, and filet of sole. I also want lox on a Kaiser roll. That's all, today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haberdashery2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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What is a cannibals favorite restaurant?

Chick filet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pianoman204
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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What do the minions eat when they cant find any food ?

filet minion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Hitler goes to a French restaurant

The waiter says, "Our special this evening is filet mignon served with au jus." Hitler says, "I'll try the steak, but I'd prefer to eat alone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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Got my wife yesterday while preparing a fruit tray.

She was busy slicing the watermelon when I mentioned a YouTube video I had seen recently that talks about how you can grill it.

She asked about it and I told her how they basically cooked it like a steak.

"I guess that would make it filet MELON."

Her face got immediately red and she shook her head trying not to laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slotrod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
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What do you call a bored cow in hell?

A black Angus flamin' yawn (filet mignon)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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Our waiter earned a nice tip..

I was visibly tired and struggling to even get through the menu when I asked for his suggestion.

Waiter: "Might I suggest the Filet Migyawn"

I returned with an immediate fist bump and thanked him for his masterpiece.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WayneWorld
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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After an unsuccessful morning of fishing my dad and I got lunch at seafood restaurant

He ordered a small filet and when the waitress brought it by he held out his hands and asked her to just drop it a couple inches. That way he could say he caught his lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlienbeck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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So today I bought some fish...

I recently joined a CSF - a community supported fishery. Once a week, I'll pick up a filet of freshly-caught salmon, a bag of shellfish, or other such delights from the Pacific Ocean and bring it home to my darling wife and children to much joy (or anguish, depending on who you're asking.)

You get to choose your pick-up spot, and I chose a location close to my office, so I could swing by on the way home; it's a nautical-themed bar, appropriate for such a business transaction. "Go to the bartender and ask for the fish", say the instructions; so I did, and he handed me the catch of the day. Gleaming white filets, glorious they were. Then I met a friend of mine, and after chatting for a little while, I went home.

"Jack," says my wife, "what took you so long? You should have been home an hour ago!"

"Sorry," I said. "I stopped by the bar, just for the halibut."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajacksified
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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So I'm making beef wellington for christmas...

me: i"m heading out to buy puff pastry and filet to make beef wellington
mom: you need a lot more ingredients than that
dad: no, you only need two ingredients: beef and wellington

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMeetch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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Every time WE would go out to a fancy restaurant

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Dad: They'll have 3 hot dogs and waters, and I'll have the filet mignon

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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Mom flipped after shoes were placed on the table and have my dad a great set up

Me(to dad): "So how was your disgusting shoe table breakfast this morning?"

Dad: "Fine. But I think it was too early for filet of sole."

  • ba dumb tss*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cecwildcat1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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