My wife and I relocated to be closer to her family within the past 8 months. It’s been wonderful to have her parents less than 10 minutes away and two siblings and their families as well.
One of my nephews recently graduated high school and is almost 19. Before we moved, we came up for his graduation and we’d already been hearing complaints from his mom and stepdad (my brother in law) that he is lazy/unmotivated to find a job or generally figure out what he wants to do with his life.
It sounded like typical teenager/young adult stuff that I can certainly relate to so we just let it go.
Now that we are here, I have a lot more information and things aren’t as they appeared. A little background:
- Our nephew was born on a military base in another country.
- When he was 16-17 years old, his mother took him to get a learners permit to start driving and realized that they don’t have a copy of his birth certificate (birth abroad form). He is not able to get any form of picture ID in our state without a birth record.
- Without a picture ID and without documentation of his right to work in this country, he is unable to get a legitimate job.
The reality is that his parents (mom, dad and stepdad) have all known about this problem for at least three years and whenever it comes to getting it resolved, they put the blame on him for not taking care of it. The primary thing that needs to happen is getting a replacement copy of his birth record. (This paragraph was edited for clarity and accuracy).
We have tried to intervene on his behalf and have learned the following disturbing things in the process:
-
His mother has either lost/misplaced/destroyed/is secretly withholding the following things which would simplify requesting a new birth record: his Social Security card; his childhood passport; his original birth record.
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His mother retains 100% control over his only bank account. It was set up when he was a minor. He has no online access and has no proof of identity in order to establish such access with the bank. Further, he has no means to set up a separate account that she can not access.
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At key points when he obtains reasonable sums of money (such as high school graduation, gift from his birth dad), his mother finds justification for kicking him out of the house and (per his claim) she takes his money.
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He is currently living with friends as he was recently kicked out of the house again.
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He has never known his own social security number. That
I've been having issues launching PUBG through Steam, I've spoken to a lot of other people that are having this issue over the past couple of weeks. Steam will indicate that the game is running, it will fail to launch and the running indicator will disappear then it then becomes a game of hitting play until the application actually starts which has routinely been between 4 and 6 times for me. It's incredibly infuriating when the game has crashed and you're trying to get back into a match. I believe I've found a workaround after trying multiple times to resolve the issue through the usual methods; validating game files, deleting files intentionally to reacquire them, uninstalling and re-installing the game, and updating various game components. I was messing around today and noticed that if I set TslGame.exe to launch as administrator the game would launch every single time, but I'd get a Failure to Initialize Steam error when trying to connect to the servers. I tried restarting steam, but the same issue persisted, so I set Steam.exe to launch as administrator and by some miracle that worked. If you'd like to try this workaround yourself just do the following, no instruction should really be needed but here you go, it'll look like this for most people:
Navigate to "C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\"
Right click on Steam.exe, select compatibility and check "Run this program as an administrator"
Click "OK"
Navigate to "C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\PUBG\TslGame\Binaries\Win64\"
Right click on TslGame.exe, select compatibility and check "Run this program as an administrator"
Click "OK"
Restart Steam, check the "Don't show this message again" box and hit continue on the compatibility warning.
There you go, now PUBG should launch on the first try every time. I'd obviously recommend changing all of this back after this problem is fixed.
Edit: According to a lot of users, recent Windows Updates have fixed this issue. I've undone the changes that I made and fully updated Windows 10, for me, these updates DID NOT resolve this issue. I have my steam folder exempted from Windows Security. I recommend first fully updating Windows 10 to see if it resolves this problem for you, then exempting your steam folder (along with install directory for PUBG) from whatever AV software you use. If the other methods fail, then use this method as it's not exactly ideal. If you try this method, please leave a comment letting everyone know if it work
... keep reading on reddit ➡Why? I have a son, early 30s. Intelligent, VERY skilled with people, expert on all aspects of a very worthwhile, in-demand skill. Won’t consider education towards making that his life’s work. Travels the world to visit me at my foreign work locales. WILL. NOT. WORK. Any job, for more than 6 months. No money. Lives with either parent, or, occasionally, friends. No children(prefers own gender). Becoming very unpleasant to live with, dabbles with certain substances. Last I saw him, had horrible open sores on arms and legs. Some down to muscle. Sleeps 3 days at a time. Won’t consider local, non-overnight, almost FREE rehab available to him. Wakes up as Mr. Hyde. Drank my entire bottle of good whisky in 5 days. Smokes 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day. His mom left town for work, I drove most weekends to visit them. Now separated from his his Mom. Mom cannot tolerate him much longer due to his verbal abuse of her. She dreads being around him. Also, he’s REALLY sentimental about family passed on, and the “good old days in general”( think 70s sitcoms). Has friends who’ve seen the world, often senior citizens. Great listener, takes on others problems with some frequency.
TL/DR Adult child 31 yoa, refuses to become independent, becoming intolerable.
My little brother is nearly 30 and I am 34. We are very close and have a good relationship. However, he chose the party life and I chose the career/family life moving through our 20's. Now that we're both in our 30's, he's still the kind of guy that gets up at noon, phone is always turned off (for not paying the bill), bounces between restaurant gigs, doesn't have a car, etc. I have a house, wife, 3 kids, businesses, retirement, etc. I try to be his brother, but also feel very much like his parent. For context, parents are not exactly in the picture and when they are, are not exactly role models.
He's a very sweet person with a big heart, but he tends to use people for their resources. He has had issues with drugs in the past which is where I think it comes from, but for the past few years he has been relatively clean (i.e. only he drinks or smokes cigs - no hard drugs - so he says). Lately he's been dating a much older woman (divorcee) who buys him things and takes him places, but according to him "he's not that into her", which I find morally fucked up.
Lastly, he's been complaining for years about working in the restaurant business and how he wants a career, but he never makes any progress. I've offered to help him in anyway I can, from buying him a laptop for online classes, to offering to let him live with us for cheap so he can go back to school. But it's all for naught. He never takes any help, despite his own stated misery with his life situation.
We caught up a few days ago and when the subject of school came back up, he said he wanted to go to school to "be an architect" or "join the the Air Force". For a 30 year old bartender who smokes and drinks, with no college experience and no drive, you can see what reality he's living in (and why I'm so frustrated). He acts happy but I know he's hurting on the inside. I try not to get upset, but I hate to see him poor, miserable, and clueless on how to take control of his life.
So my question: Do I just accept my brother for who he is even with all of his poor choices and morally questionable behavior? Or is my duty as his older brother to try and help him get on a good track?
If this is not appropriate here let me know and I will take it down. Not a parent myself, but my uncles (69) second son (28) has some issues. Thankfully he’s a decent worker, very kind, very good at what he does, but mostly due to my aunts (62) helicopter parenting until he was 27 he’s just failed to launch. obviously my uncle and aunt had him later in life and they won’t be around for more than 20 years, statically speaking, and I figure they’ve got 10 good years left Prior to needing help themselves.
Cousin doesnt know he needs oil in a car. Doesn’t think to mow his lawn on the house they bought him until he was 27 and my aunt finally got sick of him living with his girlfriend in their basement. Doesn’t know how to cook or clean. No get up and go Whatsoever. House is a mess. Wouldn’t know what to do if something were to break other than call dad. No life skills whatsoever.
My uncle continues to do and do for him, building stuff, repairs etc which would be fine if my cousin helped. Instead my uncle is doing things like reinforcement of cousins attic trusses by himself. Somewhat arduous and dangerous. Cousin and his girlfriend are going on a cruise. Uncle is worried about their car not being able to make the 1,000 mile trip (this is fair), their lack of driving long distances, etc so is driving them down. This after walking them through costs, budgets and getting passports, etc. cousin didn’t ask for help, just assumed an $400 cruise would cost $400.
so, parents of reddit, is there anything I can say or advise my aunt and uncle at this point? Or my cousin? Any gems of wisdom to share to help the situation. Various very broad hunts have been dropped for years and years by multiple family members but this cycle just continues. Plainly it’s not been good for cousin. Also plain it will get worse for him. He’s being set to crumple when his parents will need to depend on him The most. After they’re gone Or when they’re unwell, well, I will likely due to various circumstances inherit scraping this man off the floor. but I’ll be 60 to 70 by that time, too. As will his brother.
obviously the big lesson here is not to helicopter parent. I hope any reading here might see the damage done.
Cousin is by no means unintelligent. He’s different than most of the family, myself included, as they’re STEM and he’s not, but while he’s not math smart he’s got ability. The only thing this leads to on his end is a relative lack of income. Hes happy what he’s doing and
... keep reading on reddit ➡I joined this sub a week or so back. I have a podcast for musicians that I talked about for nearly 2 years before I actually did it. We’re now over a year in, releasing an episode a week. We got our first corporate sponsors and our growth is steady. My biggest takeaway is:
I should have started earlier.
Yes, it was hard and there were weeks where I didn’t have anything to talk about. There were weeks when the content wasn’t as good. There was 2 months where I had lost my job and was in a deeply depressive state and really didn’t have much to offer, but I pushed through.
It seems a lot of people in this sub are in the pre-launch phase. I’m telling you now. Start. Make your first episode. Release it. Do it again next week. And the week after. The process is a part of the journey. Be bad at it. Be embarrassed with your first episode. Perfect is the enemy of good. Don’t be afraid to launch. Just start.
Background: Graduated in March of 2019 with a degree in CE from UCSD. I took a gap to try pursuing e-sports, while I learned a lot, I didn't continue and have been looking for job since February of this year. I have 1 internship and 1 relevant job I had during college. I also have plenty of relevant projects (I think). I have a 3.13 major GPA so that's what I use when it's required on apps.
Current Situation: I spend 6-8 hours a day grinding leetcode and carefully applying to positions that I see are entry level and relevant to my skills. After over 100 job applications, I haven't received a single interview or phone screen. I've even applied with referrals to a lot of the big N companies like Google and FB. I'm starting to feel really depressed and I'm burning out grinding leetcode and applying to jobs daily. I feel pretty good about my ability to do technical interviews because I've been preparing, but I can't seem to get an interview. I just want a chance to slay an interview. It's hard to keep going after waking up to "Thank you for your interest" emails every morning.
I've gone through 3 resume revisions and have posted my latest resume on 2 consecutive resume threads with no comments.
I know COVID-19 is not helping at all, but I'm only applying to companies that are still actively hiring anyway. I don't think I'm asking too much here. It doesn't have to be big N. I've seen plenty of posts on here with people getting more than what I'm asking with less. I just want to be able to prove myself in an interview. I'm starting to feel like what's the point of practicing leetcode for interviews when I can't even get one.
Resume: Would appreciate feedback if there are any glaring flaws. Personally don't think I could do much better than this.
https://imgur.com/6JKQ0Mj
So I'm a 30 something with another kid on the way that's tired of being unfit, and largely tired of poor cardiovascular fitness.
At 6'4 and 80kg I'm often mistaken as being 'athletic' but the truth is I can't jog for more than a minute and today's '10 minute workout at beginner intensity' had me floored at 3 minutes thinking my lungs were about to burst from my chest.
I want to be fitter, I want to be able to keep up with my children and lead by example. At the moment I'm feeling pretty low as though it's just not going to happen.
My time is pretty limited, I work an average 80hr week, usually over 5 days but occasionally have to do a 7day stretch. This means my free time and the gyms availability don't match up. With this in mind I've been trying the C25K and trying to fit a 10min workout on days I don't get out.
It's been about a fortnight now of managing something alternate days and I'm just not seeing/feeling any progress (I'm still trudging through week 1 C25K)
If there's anyone who had experienced similar and overcome I could really do with some advice right now.
Mucho thanks in advance.
X
Hey all just thought I'd share this incase anyone had any tips for my next round brewin Buch'!
This was my first attempt at making Kombucha and like all newbs to the craft I stressed and stressed about mold, bottles care, water etc and the great community here kept me informed and chill!
The ambient temp in my house right now is a little below perfect fermentation conditions but still managed to get my first batch made, albeit a little on the sour side but my taste buds are more acclimated to shop bought, so maybe that's the difference I'm picking up?
Anyway, first four bottles are fizzing wonderfully with healthy spears of pineapple in them to feed and take off a bit of the acidic edge... However, 2 bottles failed to launch in this regard... Burping was always particularly anticlimactic with them...my dear is the bottles just aren't as airtight as the others I used (different bottle all together) so have transferred the unfizzy Booch to a large beer growler I picked up at our local brewery... Any seasoned brewers know if transferring is ok at this stage or is the buch a lost cause?
Anyway, aside from that, I've learned so much going through my first round with this glorious hobby and can wholeheartedly say I'm excited to get started on my next batch with the knowledge I now have. Thanks everyone for all the help and peace of mine throughout!
It has been 4 days since launch and this game is still unplayable by a large number of the community, myself included . I have been ignored on literally every social media platform that Activision is on. This is ridiculous, there isn't even an acknowledgement of this issue by the developer (that I'm aware of). Watching and listening to my friends play while I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs is absolutely maddening.
I have tried everything you can imagine to resolve this issue. The only thing I haven't been able to try is resetting/deleting my Activision account, but that crashes before any success. I really don't know what else do besides try and raise awareness at this point.
If anyone has any new information, please share!
https://preview.redd.it/bgsesdaywdv31.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=9d17f80e728f90c73b00bc878cf2a3c0aaeb7a83
Background: I have an adult SS23 who recently moved in with my husband and I. He has a lot of catching up to do with regards to how to adult and is having a bit of a hard time figuring it out. His mother coddled him (he has T1D and ADHD, so she had him convinced he was incapable of taking care of himself and he pretty much just gave up.) He asked if he could move in with us, several thousand miles away, because he knew she was holding him back. DH and I talked it over, set up a game plan, and here he is.
DH is, of course, not some innocent bystander in all of this, but as with any family situation, there are a lot of factors that all played into why this kid was stuck where he was with who he was for so long. I would prefer to not make this post about the whys and wherefores, and just focus on next steps.
What we've done thus far: arrange all the doctors visits for getting his diabetes under control, helping him to understand how carbs impact his blood sugar and how to work through the highs and lows that being a diabetic bring, taking him to get a state ID so he can begin work, encouraging him (successfully even) to take control of his own health care and not rely on others to do it for him. DH gives him a list of chores to complete, and he does them without much grousing. I sometimes assign chores as well, but I prefer to not be the one doing that. It's a different ballgame than dealing with SD11 (different mom) and her situation, and it's a hell of a lot different than dealing with my own adult children!
He has been applying for jobs within walking distance and will start branching out to what's near to the bus lines. I've never really worked retail before, so what's the best way for him to follow up on online applications that are never answered? Does he go to the local chain and inquire? Help!
Given that he's significantly behind where my DD24 is (lives away from home, is building a career, etc), what would your next steps be? When he moved in a couple of months ago, he seemed to be more like 16 or 17 to me, so I'm trying to approach it from that frame of mind, and not so much "Oh my god, you are an adult, get a fucking job!"
DH and I have discussed a time limit, and I trust that he'll stick to it, but what if he doesn't? How much of the insanity of what he used to live with do I take into account when assessing my own needs for my household? I mean, this is a kid who just stopped doing anything at all ever because his mother would scream tha
... keep reading on reddit ➡
So... this morning the Mothership IV: Decadence Star Wars edition was set to release. It was released in tiers where 8 am vip password access got in and 10 am General sale would start. You had to sign up on Pat’s website to get the VIP code.
Except almost no one got the VIP access code and people have had to beg for the code in PML’s Instagram comments. Of the palettes that people have purchased, many are already being sold on EBay for double the price. Presumably there will be no restock but genuinely this was an utter shit show of a launch.
My 23 year old son is considered “twice exceptional “ As he is super smart but also very challenged with dyslexia and slow processing skills. He also has ADD. He is brilliant and inquisitive and funny as hell but also stubborn and loud. He is definitely not traditional and left college after 3 yrs as he hated it. Fast forward he is still living at home and is searching for work —-however he will never fit into a typical or traditional 9-5 type of office role. I want to ask him to leave the house by the end of this year. Living with him is really hard as he is messy and has a huge footprint on the household ( i.e . He is big - 6’3” and 215 lbs- eats a lot- walks loudly- ) He only has odd jobs right now and won’t take any sort of menial job as he feels that he would “ rather die” than take a bs job. I am wanting to be supportive as I do think he could really succeed in a non traditional type of career such as advertising or writing comedy. I suppose I need to rip the bandaid off and just give him a deadline but for some reason it seems as if I cannot do it. I am really good with boundaries in other parts of my life but for some reason I am struggling with this. Afterthought- I raised him on my own starting from age 4 as his father was an amazing husband and father who became an alcoholic and could not get himself out of it. ( he is now sober for 13 yrs but my son won’t have a relationship with him) Please advise and be gentle! I don’t want to be scolded!
Anyone else with issues being un or underemployed? Or difficulty finding/choosing a career path? I don't have a sense of self. Everything I've done has been in a self protective, reactive stance. Thinking of what I want, what would be best for me has been pretty impossible. With all my issues with people and connection and feeling trapped at work, I've only struggled.
I used to think I had a lot of potential, but at this point I've kind of given up. I'm literally looking for the most repetitive, monotonous jobs that won't overwhelm me (so I won't leave) with the least contact with pple. In preferably one of the states with the cheapest rents. I just want to be able to survive on my own and live a quiet life with maybe some chickens and a dog and cat or 2.
This is really weird because by most people's standards I am doing well but I disagree.
I'm almost 30, I don't have my own place, my longest relationship ended 3 months ago and I'm still getting over it, I have my own law practice that is now just getting off the ground. I feel like I'm going no where fast.
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When I try to launch Reach through steam or the exe file I get these two error messages and the game won't launch. It was running fine on my old computer, does anyone have a fix? I have tried reinstalling multiple times... Googling these error codes doesn't come up with any specific fix, so I was wondering if anyone on this subreddit has had similar issues.
These are the speccs I'm running, and all drivers are up to date:
Operating System
Windows 10 Home 64-bit
CPU
AMD Ryzen 5
RAM
16.0GB
Motherboard
ASRock X570 Phantom Gaming 4 (AM4) 59 °C
Graphics
LG HDR WFHD (2560x1080@60Hz)
FPD2275W (1680x1050@59Hz)
4095MB NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2060 SUPER (NVIDIA) 70 °C
Storage
894GB Patriot Burst (SATA (SSD)) 33 °C
Optical Drives
No optical disk drives detected
Audio
Realtek High Definition Audio
At a loss and I really need my Halo fix :(
Hello all,
I hope everyone is well. I recently starting experiencing issues with my desktop (Windows 10 Home version 1903).
Last night after a few hours of gaming (Outer Worlds), I was browing Youtube when Chrome and then my computer froze (black screen). After a hard power off and restart, I noticed that Spotify had opened up as a blank Window and I was unable to kill the process in task manager, getting an "access denied" error that I'd not encountered before. I ran into a couple more instances of machine/applications freezing. Today, I got an "NVIDIA Share not responding" error and when I try to run Geforce Experience, it gives me an error.
I've tried to run a virus scan (Kapersky) but the scan never actually starts, and I seem unable to uninstall or install applications which I have tried since I've encountered errors with Spotify, KApersky etc. For example, running the Avast installer just brings up an endless Avast loading window. When I restart, it sits on the blue "restarting..." screen much longer than normal. My PC is 64 bit but I notice in my task manager there are a lot of applications/processes that say (32 bit) which might be normal but is something I don't remember.
I am really not sure what is going on or what my options are. I am not sure if it's a virus, drivers, etc. since this happened very suddenly, out of nowhere, and these issues seem to persit. I can run Malware Bytes which picks up nothing. After these issues started I installed a windows update but notice no difference. Windows 10 "device performance and health" notices no issues.
Please advise what my next steps should be or what I need to look for. Thank you!
So there is some argument that inxp are the most intelligent types, but we're oftentimes so damn lazy that that's got to detract from all that reflectiveness and openness to experience. It seems that diligence and a respect for certain institutions, combined with introversion traits, gives ixtj the corner on smarts, because what does it all matter if you don't take anything seriously enough to fully apply yourself?
Maybe there is a fundamental difference between being smart and being intelligent.
What do you all think?
