because I live in Canada.
Joe president.
........and the second one DupliKate.
It's very time consuming.
Cuz he'll never dessert you...
Because they’re really good at it.
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect
They're the wurst!
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
I responded, "Who the hell is Oliver B.??"
It was cooked in Greece
Communication is key...
all manner of scary, haunting things are happening to me. I may have a poultrygeist.
That’s why he don’t come around here no more.
They are in a very serious relationship.
They mostly wrap.
Great food!, no atmosphere!
Most will say it's nuts.
It was a vile inn.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
That when geese fly South for the winter in a V formation one side of the V is always longer than the other. You know why ?
.
There are more geese in that line
It's easy. You could tell by its bark.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
I really need to find a way to disinscentivize her.
If not, you should look into it
It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...
The Deli Lama
...is run by a bunch of has-beans.
Me: An Inconvenient Truth? Watch out though, it’s really Gore-y!!
The results may shock you
But that's okay, I love working with my dog.
I’m a frayed knot
"Sure", he said, "I got a vasectomy the day after you were born".
There would be hell toupee
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
The powerhouse of the cell
Back in medieval times people used to be named Lancelot.
It’s halfway between Dayton and Marion.
...I suggest you just take the Spaniel.
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
He pasta way.
Don’t, it’s very time consuming
Because they’re really good at it.
Cause they’re really good at it.
