Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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I saw a lobster escape a grocery store tank

It clawed itself out

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MuchoTornado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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Officer: how did the hacker escape?

Me: I dunno, he ransomware

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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A guy got two dogs and named them One and Two. One has unfortunately escaped.

But it's ok, he still has Two left.

(Thanks for the joke, dad).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/otoglomba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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No escape from reality
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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Do you know how I escaped from Δ°raq?

Iran

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EnvironmentalVast923
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 176
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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Prisoner: "I am sorry, I tried to escape."

Guard: "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

(Remember kids, never let your guard down)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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What do you say to applaud the vermin that managed to escape the breakfast porridge?

Congee-rat-lations 😬😬😬

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/majumps
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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Imagine you're in a pitch dark room and you have no idea how to escape.

Just stop imagining.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KrisyGGgamer23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Prisoner - I am sorry. I tried to escape

Guard - I am not mad. I am just.....disappointed.

Moral - DONT LET YIUR GUARD DOWN

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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No escape
πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shiner_bock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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Have you heard about the lions that escaped from the circus last night?

I heard they went straight to the juggler

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jagerjj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2020
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How did the computer hackers escape?

They just ransomware.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BatfleckPwns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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I was just trying to enjoy a day out on the lake. No matter where you are, you can never escape the puns.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/elanstake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?

She wanted to see the Task Manager.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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I watched a dwarf escape from prison today. As he climbed down the fence, he smirked at me.

I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 92
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kordesii2358
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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Fire Escape
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/u-dragon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
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Some animals escaped from the zoo and caused ruckus!

It was otter chaos.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2020
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Why are keyboards never tired?

Because they have two shifts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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No escape from Realy tea..
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JimmyPeanoot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/livelylou4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"

Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Socra16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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There's no escape
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/not_sample_text
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2019
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So how did you escape Iraq?

Refugee: I ran!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TechNippon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2020
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circles

An ant named seg is trying to reach its anthill

A girl tries to irritate it by putting a glass over it. secant she how tangent is getting. i guess it will diameter before it reaches its anthill. it would be pretty sad for its family though, as segment a lot to them. We could just say, it couldn't escape it's circle of life. well, after his untimely death, his family has arranged a funeral for him and chordiallly invited all its relatives.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tikkarice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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Did you hear the one about the guy who escaped prison covered in wasps nests?

He broke out in hives.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/McStankee110
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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Why are all the windows screaming?

Because they are in panes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/some_lerker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???

Small Medium at Large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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Do you wanna know how I escaped Iraq?

Iran

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/im_the_clone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
"Officer, how did the hacker you were following, escape ?"

"Don't know he just ransomware"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/magop7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2020
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Did you here about the dwarf climbing over the wall to escape prison?

He fell!

It was a little condescending.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Othon1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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How did I escape Iraq?

Iran

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DukeACola
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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A dwarf clairvoyant just escaped prison

Police say there is a small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ashh640
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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What do you call a three foot psychic that escaped prison ?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stinkypetersons_son
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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What do you call a fortune telling dwarf who escapes from prison?

A small medium at large!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DepressedPancake4728
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Dets
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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A four-foot-tall fourtuneteller escaped from prison.

He was a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 160
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mintyporkchop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2020
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What do you call a Psychic Dwarf that recently escapes from a federal prison?

A small medium at large!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DepressedPancake4728
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.

It was otter chaos.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarf clairvoiyant who just escaped jail?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?

She wanted the Task Manager.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drakeisalreadyinuse
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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What do you call a midget psychic that's escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2020
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