Did you hear about the person who lost the entire left side of their body?
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︎ Jun 26 2021
What you call a person with no Body and Nose ?
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︎ Jun 26 2021
What's R. Kelly's favorite type of person?
A Peabody.
What's R Kelly's favorite key to sing in?
A. minor.
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︎ Jun 21 2021
Did you hear about this social media personality that went viral?
to be more specific, it was influenza
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︎ Jun 16 2021
To the person who stole my MS Office License.
I will find you. You have my Word.
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︎ May 03 2021
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
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︎ May 13 2021
does anyone know the name of this hand movement asking if the person understood the pun? (I can't find many images/gifs of it)
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︎ Jun 06 2021
What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?
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︎ Apr 02 2021
A person says to a genie, "I wish for fame and fortunes." The genie snaps their fingers and says "your wish is granted," pulling a newspaper out of thin air.
The newspaper headline reads, "LOCAL MAN HAS FOUR CHINS!"
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︎ Jun 18 2021
Person: Please stop putting African Countries in puns its really annoying!
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︎ Jun 12 2021
Me: I just read a great book on multiple personality disorder...
Also me: I don't think it was that great, and neither do I!
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︎ May 09 2021
I quit my job as a personal trainer because I wasnβt strong enough
Just submitted my too-weak notice
Edit: my instead of by
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︎ Jun 19 2021
I was at a garage sale yesterday, and I saw a 70 inch TV for $5. I asked the person running the garage sale what the catch was. They told me the volume is stuck at max, so you know what I said?
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︎ Jun 26 2021
My doctor said that I had multiple personalities...
But, we don't believe him.
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︎ May 14 2021
What do you call a person who enjoys talking with the spirits of the dead?
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︎ May 16 2021
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
They won the Nobel prize.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
I've just won an award for being the most secretive person of the year.
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Person: The CEO of Segway died Segwaying himself off a cliff somehow.
Me: Oh wow really? Is that the reason why the sales of Segways fell off?
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︎ May 16 2021
Whatβs written on the gravestone of a shredded person?
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︎ May 19 2021
The man who invented the Ferris wheel desperately wanted to meet the person who invented the Merry Go Round.
Unfortunately they travelled in different circles.
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︎ Jun 19 2021
I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.
But I knew Iβd end up with too much Thyme on my hands
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︎ May 07 2021
Hi there, I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second person to ever walk on the moon..
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︎ May 14 2021
What do you call it when a random person farts on a bunch of strangers?
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I just told a blind person to pass the salt on the beach....
He said he didn't sea salt.
Its 12:16 right now give me a break
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︎ Jun 28 2021
Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
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︎ Dec 18 2020
The content of a person's audiobook collection...
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︎ May 03 2021
A Spanish person was on a plane.
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︎ Jun 28 2021
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
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︎ Apr 01 2021
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
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︎ Aug 27 2020
What do you call a person who pays for sex?
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︎ Jun 26 2021
My wife left me for a tractor salesman, and she didn't even tell me in person.
She just wrote me a John Deere letter.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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︎ Jun 28 2021
My kid claimed the oldest person in the UK was 113 when they died
That's wrong, I've seen a gravestone beside the A1 of some guy that 164. Apparently he was called Miles and he was from London...
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︎ Jun 22 2021
What do you call an old person with really good hearing?
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Today I learned that I got the job as Erik Estrada's personal aviator.
I guess you could say that it makes me Ponch's Pilot.
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︎ Jun 18 2021
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
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︎ Jun 23 2021
If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
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︎ Jun 28 2021
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
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︎ Jun 29 2021
What type of person doesn't like pizza?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
How does a non binary person kill someone?
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right...
....and the other person is the husband.
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︎ Jun 03 2021
what do you call a person with no body and no nose?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 01 2021
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