I have zero emotion
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylozen101020
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Inanimate objects may feel emotions like in this case but us humans are possibly too oblivious to realize it.
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2021
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it was an emotional wedding...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Drinking a bottle of wine every night slowly turned me into an emotional mess.

So I started drinking it faster.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why Do Some People Get Emotional About A Bargain?

Because It Means A Great Deal.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pengs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I have mixed emotions about elevators...

they have their ups and downs

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Weddings are so emotional-

even the cake is in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thekeytothedoor
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A man fell into the sea of emotions

a while after he got hit with a wave of happiness

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My friends all laughed at me when I told of my plans to teach sheep to express emotions like humans...

Fools. Look ewes laughing now.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fruit with lots of emotion?

A passionfruit.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpitFire1220
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I've had the most emotional cake day ever

It was in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 250
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DamnRedhead
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What a train ride of emotions finding a neglected train but also a quality pun
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RahmeI
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm emotionally constipated.

I haven't given a crap in days.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallmon
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I felt overwhelmed with emotion while watching a documentary about the Mariana trench.

It was really deep

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did they call it β€œemotional baggage”

And not a β€œgriefcase”?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Time to show some emotions
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tony_zheng
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
As I expected, my therapist told me that I have a problem verbalizing my emotions.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make a new soft drink called Emotions

But my therapist thought that was a bad idea. He said it was not healthy to bottle emotions. Others told me that the product would fizz in sales.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter's wedding was very emotional for everyone.

Even the cake was in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 365
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPantaleon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Griefcase it is
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie,” he says, β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...

...they will be subma-weiners.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you

I present you, the grief-case

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Emotional island
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/starswirls_planet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was pulled over by a police officer for a moving violation…

The officer’s name was Tina, and she was a sergeant. Certain my wife would leave me for being pulled over, again, I welled up and began bawling like a baby. Officer Tina, overcome by my emotional outburst, began to tear up as well. I stopped her in her tracks, though, and declared, β€œDon’t cry for me Sergeant Tina.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar . . .

Picture it. June, 1971. London.

Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.

Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil this evening.

Enter King Crimson, their bitter rivals in experimental jazz-fusion symphonic rock.

A chill hits the air, but they manage some level of civility.

Fripp even manages to put aside his seething anger at Lake for defecting to Emerson's new project and stands a round for all.

It's unclear exactly when Hawkwind arrives, but the strained emotions soon give way to genuine cheer and good will.

Lemmy, their basist at the time, could have that effect on people.

Unfortunately, he also later looks directly at Lake, points at Fripp and company and asks, "Waren't you wiv his lot?"

The police report explains that the ensuing fracas lasted for about 30 minutes at caused at least Β£4,500 (Β£56,604.93 in 2021, or $78,480.75) in damages, several broken bones and uncounted stiches.

The scrum finally calms down after Peter Gabriel, who was [throwing darts](https://darthelp.com/articles/the-history-of-darts/#:~:text=M

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevRob330
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A Kickstarter claimed to make money from feelings, people are sad it failed.

They were emotionally invested.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call conjoined twins that have emotionally bonded?

Close.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fried_cereal69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
This would leave me feeling emotionally tired
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?

He said it was because I committed a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 372
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Is what they say your a plant with emotions
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jokesniff
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.

I'm going vegan today.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my suitcases we're not going anywhere for at least 6 months.

Now I'm stuck here dealing with all this emotional baggage.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caleb-the-God
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
When's the best time to schedule an appointment with a dentist?

Tooth hurtie.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onliery
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Did you know that you have a serious problem vocalizing your emotions?

Man: Can’t say that I’m surprised.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one emotional taco say to the other emotional taco

Can we just TACO bout it?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dangyougotme
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The most emotional part of my wedding wasn't the vows or the speeches - it was getting cake smashed in my face.

Really brought a tier to my eye.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysTheNoob
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.

But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Doors have emotions too...
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Emotional baggage
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lijmper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
It was an emotional wedding...
πŸ‘︎ 733
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattjb1994
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I just went to an emotional wedding.

Even the cake was in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fujfuj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My therapist just told me that I have serious trouble verbalizing my emotions.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Just went to an emotional wedding

Even the cake was in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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