How can you tell a dogwood tree from an elm tree?
By the bark
Whenever someone asks me if I prefer maples, elms, or oaks, my response is always the same:
"It's not a poplar tree contest."
There we were, driving through a small southern town with my mom and she says, “Maple, elm, cedar, all these streets are named after trees. I wonder why.”
Then there’s me over here, “I guess tree names were poplar. “
I had to make a delivery today on elm street.
It was a nightmare.
My birtch of a wife just told me she wants a divorce.
She said she’s tired of all of my tree puns.
So I my son started to bark at me
Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.
What do you call a tree that’s a singer?
Spruce Springsteen
