Ego death Puns

Hi, 22 year old f here. Amateur psychonaut. I was doing a bit of reminiscing and I always think back to the time I was tripping on 3.5 golden teachers with a close friend, and she kept telling me about an hour in that she was experiencing ego death. She is a very emotional person and her soul is very child-like. She’s 23 and I’ve seen her throw tantrums like a child, and she is the type of person to manipulate a situation until it goes the way she wants. I love her, but I can see the flaws.

As we were tripping and she kept repeating her ‘I’m going through ego death’ statement with excitement, it almost felt like she was throwing it in my face that this was her life changing trip and not mine (that would be MY ego talking). I couldn’t help but think to myself during and after the trip that if you were really experiencing ego death you wouldn’t know, you would just feel extremely detached from reality and realize that your identity is self made and nothing more, that you are nothing and nothing matters, but what is, is and will be.

Do any other psychonauts share this perspective? Do you think it’s possible to recognize when you are going through ego death, and do you think you would be cognitively functioning well enough to share that feeling? On the flip side, do you think she was doing it for attention, or perhaps just a young soul experiencing something unexplainable?

I've tripped on all your basic psychedelics, and it's been a few years since I started. I really enjoy it.

But something I've only ever seen on reddit is people talking about ego death, and I am not really sure what the word itself means. Can anyone elia5?

I had an ego death, I got a game over screen you are dead now, and it was like I took off my vr lenses from the game of life and became free of everything. and ever since I don't feel like I'm a human anymore, it's like I became the universe and everything I want becomes true now, and it feels like I'm in heaven, and it just feels really good.

It's not your ego being destroyed but rather expanding to identify with the broader (real)ity that our conscious mind filters out...

That is why people "feel like they were one with ALL/Source/God" when they describe the experience later; AND it's why they get egotistical about achieving the experience once it's over - the ego can't help but be proud of its expansion experience.

i am 99% sure ego death on 5g of shrooms, i’ve done higher doses before but that experience was the most intense thing ever. me and my bf did it jus bc we was bored and it’s nothing out of the ordinary for us, abt 3 hours in he says he feels weird and that sets me off too. i literally lose all sense of myself and it felt like i was a sheet of paper who had been erased, at the time it was petrifying and i don’t think i’d ever cried so much. me and my bf experienced this together and it was one hell of a bonding experience that bought us sm closer together. i wouldn’t go through what i experienced voluntarily but i’m glad it happened, the aftee glow the next day was amazing and i feel like i now have a better on look to life- super scary at the time tho lol i thought i was dying

Without ego we would no longer feel the need to express our loss of ego.

I see alot of trip reports of people seeing things that traumatizes them and eventually leads to ego death but is it possible to have a more spiritually awakening and less scary trip that still strong enough to give you ego death

Lets say ive planned to breakthrough on a Friday. Will i be mentally ok for work on Monday ?

From what I read here it can last a few days to recover from an ego death.

In some cases people talk about minor depersonalization afterwards..

Thank you

/edit Recover might be the wrong word. Im not a native english speaker. I mean like when i am fully functional again

For the past year, I’ve been looking for a community with people that I can relate to, people who have experienced what I have experienced, and people who view the world as I do now.  I have found this community within r/psychonaut.  However, the way that I have found my path in life differs from the vast majority of this sub, but I ultimately have reached the same place of peace, awareness, and “enlightenment” that so many people in this community have:  through ego-death.

For a long time, I didn’t even know what ego-death was and I also didn’t know that it was something that I experienced a little over one year ago.  It wasn’t until I stumbled across this community a few months ago that I realized that this was exactly what I experienced when my life completely changed for the better and hasn’t been the same since.

Introduction

Before I get into my story, I want to acknowledge that I know that DXM is more of a dissociative than it is a psychedelic.  But it is also important to recognize that DXM is almost always classified side-by-side with so many of the popular psychedelics in this sub.  Although DXM doesn’t have a lot of the same hallucinogenic effects, it does offer a lot of the same benefits that other hallucinogens offer, particularly when it comes to separation of self from the ego.  After all, this detachment is exactly what it means to dissociate and it is what is necessary in order to achieve ego-death.

Full disclosure:  During my partying days, I did try LSD and DMT a few times, and I have used mushrooms many times in the past, but it was always recreationally and always with alcohol and other drugs, so I never did give myself the opportunity to experience the therapeutic value of these particular psychedelics.

Darkness and Depression

A little over a year ago, I was at one of the lowest points I ever felt in my life.  It was so bad that suicide was an option on the table for me.  At the time, I didn’t actually know what was causing me to feel this low, but in my mind and from my perspective, there was no reason to live, there was nothing to look forward to, I had little value for myself, and the entire world was crumbling around me.  I was in a deep, dark, unidentifiable depression that had no end in sight.  Objectively, I really had no reason to feel this way, but I did and it was my truth and my reality at that time.

At this time, I was also 2.5 years completely sober from alcohol and all other drugs.  It was essential

The thought that I am no longer me kind of terrifies me. Some people on the other hand eagerly chase ego deaths. I just wonder why that is

I have tripped many times on high doses and haven’t experienced a death. Do I have to strong of an ego? Or do I not have an ego so therefore I can’t experience a death? I’m planning a 10.5G penis envy trip in may but I don’t know if that will be enough.

the highest I've ever done is 1000mg of wax sativa and I've never had any psychedelic substances before only high weed dosages. Is lsd for me ? I'm very curious as in what i would see/ experience

Hey everyone,

I've only tripped like 4 times in my life.

2 this year lol. I couldn't even handle 300ug.

It felt like i was in another dimension.

I do wanna go to a ego death state but idk how to.

I do wanna know what it feels like after the death of your ego.

Thank you.

Looking for any similar experiences or ideas as to what's actually happening here.

I have a friend who I've tripped with 6-7 times now. Those first 5 were on doses around 1 to 2 tabs. We tried 3 tabs and it was a lot for everyone, but while myself and my best friend, J, held onto reality, our friend B did not. Just after the peak, he began losing touch and started rambling and pacing. Asking questions like, "Are we all one person? Am I you?" and being basically unresponsive to most things you'd say to him. He stripped naked, tried leaving the house, but was mostly fairly calm all things considered.

When he came to, he described feeling like he was alone in the universe and it's creator, and he couldn't perceive much outside of what he was directly looking at.

We thought it was a fluke. Tried 2 and a half tabs months later. Again, myself and J were fine, B had a similar reaction. He wasn't rambling and pacing as much and seemed to know who we were better, but was still gone for several hours.

I'm curious if anyone understands what might be happening. The experiences he described both times sounded somewhat like people's ego deaths I've read here, but it also doesn't happen to me or any of my friends who have had the same dose.

Is he more sensitive to it somehow, or is this signs that he is predisposed to psychosis or something else? After he comes back to reality, he is totally normal again and doesn't have psychotic symptoms in daily life.

TL;DR: Friend loses his mind on doses that myself and many others can handle. Is this ego death, psychosis, or something else, and why is it only happening to him?

I believe I had NPD from my father but because I was abused so much I an ego death. I understand why people wouldn't believe me, narcissistic complexes are a bitch, but I have them but also had an ego death and wear spiritual looking stuff because I feel it, but don't believe in spirituality, so I'm kinda confused.

According to what I know, I have NPD, and every comment in here just proves it.

I have been using mushrooms for about 8 years now (both recreationally and, more recently, for therapeutic purposes). I have had a high tolerance from the get go (2g was my first dose and I had to focus my full attention to notice the slightest “wiggle”) and so I take 3g+ just to enjoy myself. I have experienced bad trips - that were all down to my situation at the time of the trip - and learnt from them and have come to respect psychedelics a lot more.

In 2019 I was suicidal and the universe, or whatever you want to call it, brought me Ibogaine (a long story for another time perhaps). It was an incredible experience and saved my life, along with therapy and lots of hard work, as well as being different to anything I’d ever done before (mushrooms and lsd). It was very intense, as it loops everything you think about and lasts for up to 24 hours, and yet I never lost my “conscious” mind like I do on higher doses of mushrooms or lsd. In other words, I was able to control the whole trip and got everything out of it that I needed to at the time, as well as remembering the entire thing. I am not sure if there are other psychedelics that have the same effect and from my research Ibogaine works differently for everyone so even that could have been a once off for me with that plant.

I have taken 8g of mushrooms on two separate occasions and although the trips were intense I never had that dimensional breakthrough nor the ego death that I’ve heard so many speak of. Any advice from some more knowledgeable psychonauts would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR I have a high tolerance to psychedelics and have done plenty mushrooms, LSD and Ibogaine 3 times yet never had the ego death/dimensional breakthrough. Advice?

I am better than you because I have no ego. I am better than you because I know I am god. I am better than you because I don’t want to talk about the kardashians. I don’t need mindless drivel to entertain me, unlike you I have shrooms and LSD. I am better than you because I am a more evolved karmic spirit.

This sub needs some serious “just like me” meditation.

https://www.mindful.org/just-like-me-compassion-practice/

And yes. Just like all of you I have an ego that needs to be kept in check and much work to do

“The ego, a wonderful servant a horrible master”

I've made numerous posts trying to explain my experiences with the unknown but most of the time people just think I'm crazy or don't believe me. I won't step too far out of the box in this post as to try and get a more rounded explanation regarding the oneness that I've seen a lot of people post about recently.

Yes we are all one, that's our connection to each other and everything through our crown chakra. However that is one of 7 chakras that keeps us unified and it's more like a lid on top of a jar. The other 6 chakras make you a unique individual with wants and material needs. The reason it's so common to think that (insert username) is God because they've felt onesess is because it's actually a deception. We are like piecess of an infinite puzzle that when put together make 1 puzzle but you have your own soul which is unique to you which is your puzzle piece.

A lot of people say "I realised I'm God" when a more accurate representation of the experience is" I'm a part of God" Did you create heaven and earth and have a memory of it? no you took some acid and achieved artificial nirvana. When you meditate you can reach nirvana naturally which in basic terms is a permanent ego death. It's really hard to explain as I'm writing this in body as an individual and so it won't make sense to those who haven't experienced it. Not even just from acid oneness.

Others have mentioned that it feels extremely lonely to know that everything is just you. But when nirvana is achieved naturally it's actually blissful and peaceful maybe sad but when you don't have an ego you don't really care that's it's just one mesh. As I mentioned earlier you do have a soul which allows you to incarnate and have an ego which makes you an individual no matter what.

Christmas evening I lemon tek'ed 3.5g of Penis Envy. About an hour into the trip I recall just sitting on the couch, the room in darkness and my music turned off. I felt an overwhelming sense of "I don't need to do anything, I can just exist", so I did. That's pretty similar to my other trips.

But as a bit more time passed, I forgot what a day was. I knew it was Christmas Day, I knew it was Saturday, but I couldn't comprehend the concept of what a day was. Same with what a drug was. "What even is a drug?" I kept asking myself. And to top it all off, I forgot what a brain was. I knew the word was familiar, but I just couldn't fathom what the word meant or the concept of brain. But I didn't need to; I was happy just existing.

I ended up in my bathroom just staring out the window, feeling an all-encompassing sense of peace, awe, and curiosity. Again that's pretty similar to some other trips I've had, but this was enhanced. It had recently snowed, and I was captivated by the snow. I felt like I imagine a cat must feel - intrigued by the snow, wanting to go touch it, but at the same time being completely content just chilling on the windowsill, looking at the outdoors, observing this existence, fascinated and contented by just being and unable to think of anything more.

Does any of this resemble ego death? An overwhelming sense of not needing to do anything (e.g. listen to music, watch a movie, think deep introspective thoughts, etc.) but content just to exist and observe. Forgetting what basic words and concepts meant, even not understanding what a brain was. Ego death is something I'm curious to experience, but maybe I already have. Any insight you could offer would be appreciated.

Mush love to you all

Year ago I threw a small halloween party with my friends. We planned it for long and decided to spend the night with MDMA and weed (not knowing it’s not a good mix at the time). Me and my best friend took the whole pill, and it was around 300 mg, it wasn’t our first time with MDMA, but it was for the other two girls partying with us, so they took half. Everything was perfect until we started smoking weed. We all hit the bucket twice and after that weird things started happening to one of girls. She shut herself with her best friend in my room and the rest of us noticed it after 5-10 minutes. We went to check out on them and already knew that this girl (let’s name her Anna) has some sort of really bad trip. She was anxious and told us that she thinks she overdosed. Me and my friend knew that it was unlikely, but the girl who came with her completely freaked out and it didn’t help. Things got worse and Anna told us that she feels like she’s in a game which she can’t escape and the only way to do this is suicide. At this point I got scared too, but I knew I can’t show it. We told her that it’s her mind playing tricks, to breath deeply and not trust her every thought. Didn’t work. She went crazy and ran to the kitchen. There was a knife covered in fake blood on the table (you know… halloween), she grabbed it but we managed to quickly take it from her. Then she tried to jump out of the window, but we pulled her away… After that my friend tried to talk to her but Anna said she wants to go for a walk and get some fresh air, my friend said she’ll go with her and when she tried to close the apartment, Anna jumped into the hole in the handrail of the stairs and fell over three floors. Then we went to the hospital. Next day she texted me saying that she’s sorry and that it was ego death. It was traumatising to the point that I still think about it and when I look up experiences with ego death on internet, those seem much softer than what I saw. So my question is was it really ego death? And if not, what could it be? ps. Sorry if my English is not great, I’m not a native

The term gets thrown around a lot as the “complete loss of subjective self identify” and you’ll find tons of YouTube videos titled “Kill your Ego in 3 steps” or something along those lines.

You can’t ever objectively know yourself the same way a knife can’t cut itself. So your subjective perspective is the best you have. It’s the closest thing to “you”

I personally think that any idea that denies reality or goes against human nature (in this case, the ego, a literal mental defense mechanism we evolved out of necessity) is weak and will only lead to misery.

Instead of killing one’s ego, I say accept it for what it is and use it as a tool to become a better person.

At the end of the day, if achieving “peace” or “nirvana” or whatever means abandoning yourself, I’d rather live in a constant state of chaos while embracing harsh realities. It’s a small price to pay for staying true to oneself.

Thoughts on Ego Death?

Ask me all your ego death questions — I’ll do my best to clarify.

Seeing the phrase “God’s ego death” at the final tier of the conspiracy iceberg was a surprise even after all of the references to psychedelic experiences in the previous tiers. I take more than my fair share of hallucinogens, and have undergone ego death a handful of times over the years. If you have any questions, maybe about ego death itself, what “God’s ego death” would mean, or why it fits perfectly with the idea of God becoming the physical universe, I’ll do my best to answer them.

On January 1st, 2022 I decided to take a heroic dose of mushrooms. I ate 3.6 grams of APEs I grew myself along with my best friend. We dropped at 11:00 PM

The mushrooms hit very fast I decided to lay down because I felt tired and started to trip hard after only about 20 minutes. At first I thought I was just exhausted from work. Then my mind began to cloud. I couldn't think of anything. I felt like there was something I had to do to prevent myself from dying, but I couldn't remember what it was. I tried breathing, requesting water, but nothing seemed to be working. I almost threw up in my bed and I ran to the bathroom. Lucky I didn't. Then I went into a dream state where I experienced everything at once. I was in 4D hyperspace. I had the idea to play guitar, but realized I couldn't because my body was in a different plane to the instrument. Once I woke from this dream state I assumed I had died and was experiencing the after life. Then I remembered that my dose couldn't kill me, but I thought I ruined my brain and I'd never be able to think right again. My vision was almost blurry and objects appeared to pass through themselves and there was an overlay of irises on everything. My surroundings grew and shrank. I remember tossing and turning in bed, trying to lash out and break myself from the trip and crying for a few moments. Once I started to sober up and realized that I would be okay I felt amazing and told my friend about the experience. I felt at peace. I decided in that moment I would let everything go. For the rest of the trip I felt nauseous and fatigued. I spilled water on my bed and my friend actually did throw up. The rest of the trip was kinda shitty and I just decided to try to sleep. When I woke up I was still after glowing. Later that day when I recited the trip to my girlfriend I began sobbing my eyes out. My perception of the afterlife was scary and It made me upset. I've realized that my idea of the afterlife would never be accurate until I'm there. I feel like my explanation over simplified the experience, but it's hard to put it in words I guess.

I've learned that I should appreciate every moment I have. I want to love, be loved, be passionate, smile cry, give create and live. I used to want to wither away and now I want to flourish and LIVE. At this point I still get emotion thinking o

Everyone’s heard the story about how lil Jojo died but from what it sounds like it seems like it was more of a suicide attempt… what do u guy think?

I’m suddenly overwhelmed by feeling like nothing matters and life is generally hopeless and meaningless.

I used to actively pursue hobbies and interests. I would actually pursue them to my own detriment, like lack of sleep etc. bc I felt that the goal matters so much. Whether it was fitness, personal finance, education, my career, my home, relationships, whatever.

I had a few significant stressors come up at work and in my family/relationships. Nothing like cancer or layoffs, but significant none the less.

I fell into this sort of, depressed state. Where all I could do was cry, sleep and drink.

I know what I need to do. I stopped drinking, I’m dragging myself outside for fresh air and exercise despite the cold (hello fellow Canadians!).

I just feel like this time I won’t be able to trick myself into the false positive happiness. I feel like I’ve seen the truth for once, stopped drinking the positivity cool aide, and I can’t un see it.

And the truth is that I have very low self worth. All of my “hobbies”, “interests”, and “relationships” are merely attachments and labels I use to bolster my own self image.

And that if I stopped competing with other people, and caring what other people thought of me, I wouldn’t be interested in any of these things.

I’m realizing my whole life is a lie, I’m a terrified coward and all my decisions and life choices have stemmed from that, I don’t like myself very much at all , I’m no different than a rabid, frightened animal, and I have no idea where to go from here.

I’ve booked a doctors appointment and a therapy appointment. But I almost feel like it’s not depression, it’s the truth, and it’s fucking sad as fuck.

None of it matters. The job, the clothes, money, being “single” or “in a relationship”. None of it is real. None of it will ever make me happy. Winning at life will never make me happy because, winning at what? Against who? It’s all a facade.

So what am I doing? Why am I here? And now that I see everything for what it is, random and pointless, how do I ever motivate myself to do anything, and why should I?

I feel like I’ve been unplugged from the matrix, and it makes me feel vulnerable, scared and like I’m seeing things clearly for the first time.

Life isn’t “divine” - it just is. It’s ugly and dirty and painful and beautiful and truly pointless. Just like me.

I feel rudderless. The pursuit of “goodness” has been my whole life. Who am I without it?

I wanna experience ego death and see how far i can dive into my own mind, i'm curious what would be needed to reach that level. I've already tripped a bunch of times, but never got close to such a state so i would like to be able to get to that point. For the record, i can handle myself well on acid, never had a problem with that, but of course i don't wanna take too much just to be safe, so that's why i'm asking what would be the right amount of tabs to get there safely

This is a story about my 2nd shroom trip ever and most life changing experience I’ve ever had in my entire life. Before we get into the trip on the second I’m going to quickly give you a rundown on my psychedelic history before this date.

In early October my friends and I had planned out a day for all of us to do shrooms, never having taken a psychedelic before I was extremely excited to be joining in with them. The date was set for October 19th 2018 and as the day got closer and closer I was filled with anticipation beyond belief. When the day finally came around I made my way around to his house around 3pm and when I got there I started talking to them about what I was too expect, they told me too smoke some weed before to make them stronger and were giving me very basic advice on what too do. I hit a few bowls and my friends took 4grams and I took just under 2grams. Almost immediately I started panicking because the idea that I could have a bad trip finally set in, in response my friend gives me a Xanax which I had taken twice prior. The Xan and shrooms started kicking in at the same time and I was hit with a wave of euphoria I had no idea was even possible. I Had been high before but I’ve never in my life felt that good and I’m doubtful I ever will again. I got so fucked up I pissed all over my friends bathroom floor and had to clean it for half an hour yet it was still one of the greatest experiences ill ever have. When all was said and done I knew Shrooms would end up being my new favourite drug and that this was not going to be a one time thing.

Fast Forward to November 1st.

For a little context I have a few mental illnesses but at the time a majority of them had only recently started bubbling to the surface, namely OCD, Bipolar Disorder and PTSD which stemmed from my house burning down when I was 8 years old as well as a recent nicotine addiction that I didn’t realize had started (I was young and didn’t understand addiction and was probably in denial) . On November 1st I was extremely depressed roaming around the downtown core of where I live filled with negative thoughts and paranoia when I text my friend asking if I could come over, he says yes and I make my way over to his house to chill and watch YouTube. When I get there him and I started talking about shrooms when a psyched substance video about the Almighty “Ego Death” came on. The video made absolutely zero sense to me and my friend gave me a much better explanation that I could compre

I hadn't found/done LSD since high school (early 2000s), and recently bought a sheet of blotter. Had ninja turtles on it. I see people talk about doses in UG.. and a standard blotter is anywhere between 30-70ug per square. How do I determine this?

I've taken 2, 4 and 6 hits with about 1 week in between each time. While it's all been fun, it hasnt approached what am seeking. Ego death, or if not ego death, just the loss of sense of self. I've seen people say lsd won't take you there no matter what. I see patterns, textures, waves, euphoria and giddyness. But I have never in my life lost my sense of self.. maybe my expectations are falsely set by movies and tv?

Same thing with mushrooms, I've eaten them plenty of times but never had ego death, just... Fun energetic happy times. Is it just my brain isn't going to take me there?

I hope that makes sense.

The human ego may modernly be the main thing that separates our kingdom from the animal kingdom because the ego is a human evolutionary trait. We can't kill that part of us.

What is ego death?

I took lsd about over 2 years ago thinking it would be just a fun experience with friends and fun hallucinations, i now after 2 years of tripping almost every 2 months, finally Got my ego death and i now have the best mental health i have ever had ever, and i didnt Think it would change me in the positive Way that it did. If you have any question about my Road to the best mental State i have ever been in (ego death) then ask in the comments i Will anwser all questions