email time stamped 6:33 pm EST. currently an undergrad here so this hurts :/
specific stats: 3.81/160/KJM/T2/URM :(
anyway, congrats to everyone who got in! not everyone can get an A :(
complete 1/6, UR1 1/10, UR2 3/26, corona email no HTE
That is all
東施效顰 Dōng shī xiào pín means “monkey see – monkey do”. It is a story of "beauty and the beast" - kinda.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Name: The Lạc Rồng/Lạc Minyuè/Lạc Dōng'ōu/Lạc Yángyuè
Tech Age/Key Techs: Bronze^1, Pottery, Rice
Government/Polity: Unorganised Tribes
Population: Opt in
Economy: Opt in
History:
The Lạc Rồng people live in the hills and around the rivers of the area known as 'Lạc', or, heart. The lands of Lạc are inhabited by a group of various clans known as the 'Lạc Rồng', meaning 'Heart of the Dragon' which is attributed to the founding myth of the Lạc Rồng that claim they were born from two dragons, Minyuè and Yángyuè. These two dragons fought their father, Dōng'ōu and when they had killed him his body created the earth. Minyuè and Yángyuè together had children which were made from the heart of Minyuè and the brain of Yángyuè. Once their children were born they ascended into the heavens and created the Sun and the Moon, known as Yángyuè and Minyuè respectively.
In reality the Lạc Rồng people are descended from migrants who left early Khatruong^2 under threat of war from a neighbouring polity. They migrated and settled near the River Chau^3 and farmed rice while building small villages. The Lạc Rồng split into various clans as they migrated and quite frequently fought amongst themselves, with none of the tribes taking absolute power. The Lạc Rồng have distinguished their culture by adorning themselves with black tattoos across their bodies, with the most powerful Lạc Rồng having their entire face and body covered in different pieces. The most commonly depicted pieces are the sun, the dragon/Rồng, and the water.
The naming conventions of the Lạc Rồng are based upon the line of their father, with many taking their father's name in addition to their own. An example would be the Lạc Rồng hero, Dặngrồng Lê. His given name is Lê and his father's name is Dặng, his tribe's is the Rồng which creates his name Dặngrồng Lê. Sons and daughters take their father's name and their clan name until age 15, where the son will gain a 'heart name' that relates to their personality and the daughter will be married off so they will create a new name.
Now the Lạc Rồng fight amongst themselves for slaves and for glory, with many young men going on 'Ahiệm Rụ' or 'The Quest'; a practice wherein groups of young me
... keep reading on reddit ➡We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
But let me give it a shot.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
He’s the new temp.
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
