PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, don’t open it.

It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YellowSnow2807
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Dong. Ding Dong.

James Bond's doorbell.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Kiddy Dong Racing is the perfect example of a Spoonerism

Spoonerism: a verbal error in which a speaker accidentally transposes the initial sounds or letters of two or more words, often to humorous effect.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moshiie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Anyone can get a mega dong for about 40 dollars wolframalpha.com/input/?i…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teukkam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
When I say, "Ding dong." You say, "Aww."

"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"

All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePreissisRight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Took me a minute I can’t lie
πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?

One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you sing when a witch gets married?

Ding! Dong! The witch is wed!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AssCumBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s blue and not heavy

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If Elon Musk ever had a sex scandal, Elongate would actually be a perfect name for it
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kefasa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
They are having a fruitful conversation.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
When cybernetics are I’m going to replace my penis with a revolver

I could finally say I have a magnum dong

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Charger_3000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine misspelled Viet Cong, couldn't resist making this.
πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleSpoons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
knock knock

who's there?

The electrician to fix your doorbell

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyBlueCat
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a video game gorilla who shrinks by 50% each day?

Exponential DK

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ii_akinae_ii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
🚨︎ report
My daughter insists she is becoming a Southern Belle.

I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend got me aroused, then grabbed her stuff and left.

I got ding-dong ditched

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tomisahoss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the name of Bangkok's twin city?

Ding dong.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevonX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw someone get attacked by a group of mimes yesterday

they were dong unspeakable things to the victim.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend Abbey told me that she's "heard them all" from "crabby Abbey" to Abi-one Kenabi. It's her birthday and I know we can do better.

Comment your best "Abbey" puns. Bonus points: her last name rhymes with "long". Or... dong, I guess. So.... long.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punnishment
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion

Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themannamedme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Sunday Morning Sex

Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/time2change76
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Ding dong...

*Crickets*

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

πŸ‘︎ 259
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.