Domovoy Puns

So, does anyone have any tips on how to worship and help Domovoy? I heared that I should leave a shoe behind my stove for him to live in, but I don't really have any space behind my stove where I can put a shoe. Also, I heared that he gets expelled while clening if he isn't warned. How can I know if I have expelled him from my home, and how can I invite him back in?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CXfkpXVKNo

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Hey all, so not Slavic and I don’t practice Slavic magick but I am pagan and practice eclectic paganism that’s more western. The slavic stuff comes in because this has to do with my roommate who’s Bosnian and comes from a family of Bosnian immigrants. This is going to be long but I really need help and advice from people that know about slavic folklore and witchcraft and all that, I don’t know anything about it.

So a lot is going on. The background is my roommate recently moved in with me a few weeks ago, his family were refugees from Bosnia that came to America before he was born. Very abusive toxic family, he’s been disowned, he come to my house because his family was abusing him and he had no where else to go and he was living in his car. His dad died when he was a kid, step dad is a terrible abusive fuck.

So tensions were getting higher and higher with his family. He’s gay, his family are extremist Muslims and very homophobic. So homophobic that mom moved back to Bosnia with the two youngest kids because America was too liberal. In the middle of these rising tensions, his little 9 year old brother died after being hit by a car back in Bosnia. A few days later we were sitting in my bed and suddenly we heard loud thumping and nails against wood. I have a schizoaffective disorder so I thought I was just hearing things, until he said he could hear it too. I walked around my room trying to find the source of the noise, it was definitely coming from inside my room. We figure out it’s coming from my closet, but I checked multiple times and there’s absolutely nothing in my closet besides some tissue paper and old sex toys (hah)…and it’s carpeted. The only way the sound of nails against wood could come from there is nails against the walls or ceiling. Then I noticed my snake was staring directly at the closet in an alert striking position, which is weird because he’s pretty chill normally. The whole time the sounds are continuing as I stand there, with nothing visually there. I checked all over my room, no sign of any animals besides the ones I have in tanks and none of them could make the noises we were hearing. I smacked the wall near the closet and the closet door to see if I could hear anything run away in the walls and nothing. My roommate then told me earlier he had seen a feminine face staring in our living room windows and then walk past but none of our motion lights went off.

We eventually go down to basement altar and light some protection candl

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

When I got home, they were still there.