Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".

She said "I don't understand.....".

I said " UN-PAUSE".

I had to explain it to her...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JJJoyce
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dog keeps biting my watch when I play with him

Good thing he doesnโ€™t eat it, that would be time consuming

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coffeemist90881
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dog is a watch dog.

He enjoyed chewing on my Rolex.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Adderalin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a programme where you watch some very skilled dogs sleeping?

Snore patrol

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/maccer20
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Watch_Dogs
๐Ÿ‘︎ 495
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/therealbutterplays
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad named our dogs Rolex and Timex because he wanted watch dogs.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Robot-Downey-Jr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dog swallowed a watch. So Iโ€™m keeping myself busy by giving him laxatives and prune juice every hour.

Anything to pass the time.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 32
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?

He got ticks.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_mono_no_aware
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dog ate my watch...

What's the best way to get rid of ticks?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is my dog no longer allowed to watch TV

Because he kept on paws-ing it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Watch That Dog Poo!!!!

"Why? Does it do tricks?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mazemace
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So proud of my daughter! Weโ€™re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: โ€œDog canโ€™t hang because sheโ€™s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:

Donโ€™t you mean a โ€œFur-rariโ€?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Epic_pale
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man walks into a bar

A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a few drinks. At the end of the night, when he got the tab, he was astounded at the $50 check. He calls the bar tender over hoping to strike a deal. โ€œBartender, I only have 20 bucks I canโ€™t pay for this drink. Letโ€™s make a deal, if my dog can talk then youโ€™ll let me have my drinks for free.โ€ The bartender states, โ€œthere is no way that damn dog can talk! Pay me the money!โ€ The man in response states, โ€œNo no sir, watch. Spots, what kind of situation are you in when you didnโ€™t study for a test?โ€ The dog, โ€œRuff!โ€ The man carries on the bit, โ€œSee bar tender my dog can talk! Youโ€™re in a rough situation when you donโ€™t study!โ€ The bartender, โ€œNow boy donโ€™t play with me now, just pay your tab, that dog canโ€™t talk!โ€ โ€œWell here, Iโ€™ll prove it to you. Spots, what texture is sandpaper?โ€ โ€œRuff!โ€ The bartender reaches hand over the counter, almost touching the man, โ€œI wonโ€™t ask again sir.โ€ โ€œI have one more, just watch. Spots, who is the best baseball player?โ€ โ€œRuff!โ€ The bartender, done being fooled with, throws the man in his dog out of the bar, taking all his money. He looks at his dog sadly, โ€œsorry spots, I guess he doesnโ€™t believe you can talk...โ€ The dog looks up, confused, โ€œmaybe I shouldโ€™ve said DiMaggio.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DorkeyTree
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A coupla guys walking their dogs decide they want a beer.

But the bar disallows dogs. The one guy says โ€œwatch this.โ€ He approaches the bouncer and says with his leashed German Shepard โ€œ this is my seeing eye dog.โ€ He gets in. Second guy tries the same. โ€œThis is my seeing eye dog.โ€ The bouncer says, โ€œthatโ€™s no seeing eye dog, thatโ€™s a chihuahua!โ€ To which the man replies โ€œ they gave me a chihuahua!?!?!?!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mollie_anne_77
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 29 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do cats and dogs do when theyโ€™re watching a movie and have to go to the bathroom?

They paws it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nazumbleed
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just watched our dog jump in the pool,

He did a โ€œcanineโ€ ball

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iamflexx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Seiko and Rolex...

... best watch dogs ever.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rachelsfriendfriend
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad and I were watching basketball the other day when his dog (Sophie) hopped up onto the couch beside him. He turned to her and said, "Who are you rooting for Sophie? The underDOG??!!!"
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lissylou22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was visiting my blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.ย  I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'ย  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, โ€œThey're watch dogs'!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nandos677
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Good Boi
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NiisanSein
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I hate it when I'm watching TV and my dog comes and puts her pause on the remote.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/badfish321
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A father and his son are watching their dog clean his balls...

Son: Don't you wish you could do that? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ApocalypticCat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Watching some movie where a bunch of dog sledders end up having to eat the dogs

He points to the cats and goes

"If we eat them it'll be a cat-astrophe!"

Ugh

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rybaka1994
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
While watching a documentary on dogs in warfare...

Dad: Do they have to wear human tags to be identified? Collective groan

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mdk12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Race horse Pat

There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.

Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Patโ€™s records and Pat was a little upset with this.

After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, โ€œHey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.โ€ Charlie responds, โ€œgo away old man, Iโ€™m better than you ever were.โ€ Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.

After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said โ€œWe will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.โ€ Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.

After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. โ€œHey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So donโ€™t get all cocky and think you are going to win.โ€ Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.

The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.

Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, โ€œWow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!โ€ Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, โ€œSay that again! Say it again!โ€ The dog says a little confused, โ€œWell I just said that you both were so great out there.โ€ Pat says, โ€œCharlie! Itโ€™s a talking dog!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SnappyOrange69
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Flirting for dads

I took my dog called Pilky (named after Karl Pilkington) for a walk in the park. We stopped for a minute so he could have some fun in the grass, when this girl walks by.

Her: What a cutie

Me: Thanks, I just had a new haircut.

She gives me a puzzled look when suddenly she gets it.

She: that's funny.

Me: No, that's Pilky.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jellevdv
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

โ€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s simple, maโ€™am.โ€ he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. โ€œIโ€™m surprised you havenโ€™t discovered for yourself.โ€

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

โ€œYa see, maโ€™am? The real_jokeโ€™s always in the condiments!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dog pause

So Iโ€™m watching a movie with my dad and he asks me to pause it and as he walks out of the room he goes โ€œroof roof dog pauseโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LucyCarmicheal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I named my two dogs Rolex and Timex

They're my watch dogs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/habsfan1112
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and timex?

Because they were watch dogs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Just_Bee_Pawsitive
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did a man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

Because they were Watch Dogs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D3V1L420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got a new dog and named him Rolex.

He's an expensive watch dog.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/onetwopi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex, and Timex?

Because they were watch dogs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/No_Hard_Feelings_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex...

They are his watch dogs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
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My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex.

Theyโ€™re his watch dogs!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 110
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I bought one of those dog training videos

But I couldnโ€™t ever get the dog to sit there and watch it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/virus200
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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I named my dog Seiko.

He's a watch dog.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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What does a baby corn call its dad?

Popcorn.

(Credit goes to Puppy Dog Pals I watched with my daughter today)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/funrunner16
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

Because they were watch dogs

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KxngJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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My dad named his puppies Rolex and Timex

He calls them his watch dogs

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/USAisAok
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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What type of dog can tell the time

A watch-dog

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mustache-and-pie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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I just got two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex.

They are my watch dogs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tacoburrito39
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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