What do you call a werewolf who dosen’t know they’re a werewolf
We all know cheese that doesn't belong to you is "Nacho cheese," but what do you call someone else's flatbread?
7yo over dinner : Abah, do you know why we must eat all the dumplings?
Me: because we shouldn’t waste food?
.
.
.
7yo: No, because they will grow up to be Dumps.
(I have never been so proud of her. Her older sisters almost choked on their food, laughing out loud)
Do you know why the Vikings chose purple as the color of their uniforms?
If you choked for 30 years in a row, you’d be purple too.
How do you know that birds are spies?
Because they are always in de skies
Do you know what's great about Orcas?
They do a killer whale impression.
Do you know why I'm so mistrusting of stairs?
Because they are always up to something.
Do you know why school dropouts are so cold?
How do you know Eskimos aren’t lying?
How do you know when you have too many dogs?
How do you know if you’ll like Kia’s new SUV?
You won’t be able to know Telluride in it
Do you know what happens when you bury someone who lives in our area in our cemetery?
Do you know what it’s called when an Egyptian farts and sneezes at the same time?
I asked my German friend "Do you know what the square root of 81 is?"
Do you know the weakest part on most cars?
It’s the nut holding the steering wheel.
Do you wanna know what the longest word in the English language is?
Do you know the price of a chimney?
I thought it would be on the house… but apparently it’s through the roof.
Do you know what today is?
10-4, good buddy!
(Works in America only)
You know, I bet that actress from The Devil Wears Prada could do anything she puts her mind to.
Where Anne Hathawill,Anne Hathaway.
Do you know the legend of the cat that created the universe?
It's a tail as old as time.
Do you know why orphans can't build a PC
because they can't find the motherboard
There’s a fish in a tank, and it turns to the other fish, do you know what it says?
Do you know how woman got her name?
God made man. Then God made woman, and showed woman to man.
Man went "Whoa, man..."
Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?
Do you know what 7 said after eating 1?
I hear you guys are having a baby, do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
- Not 100% sure, but pretty confident that it is!
Do you know why elder women don't have babies?
Their advanced age give men a pause.
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "Its going to rain." His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Do you know what a Freudian slip is?
It's when you say one thing, but mean a mother
Do you Know why Will Smith used an open hand instead of a fist ?
Because only paper beats rock.
Most people don't know that you do NOT actually need a parachute for skydiving.
But you do need one if you want to do it again.
Do you know why so few tourists make it to Helsinki?
It can be tough to keep going after you have crossed the Finnish line.
Do you know the person whose missing 75% of his spine?
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. “Thanks but why’d you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
How do you know all Christmas trees are old?
They all use candy canes.
Do you know how much a chimney costs?
-Do you know about the mute groom at the wedding?
how do you know if a penny is floating upwards?
It's a cent
De cent joke right?
Eh, just my two cents
therapist: "i think you might have a phobia of marriage. do you know what the symptoms are?"
me: "can't say i do"
therapist: "that's one of them!"
Do you know why horses sell their hair?
I asked “Siri, why am I so bad with women?” Do you know what she said?
John: “Do you know the name of Sherlock Holmes’ son?” Joe: “What son?”
John: “No, that was his roommate”
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