What do you know about nuns?
Nevermind, it's Nun of my business.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Do you know what a ghost uses to open a door ?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Do you know what kind of shoes sex offenders normally wear?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Do you know what game a german gingerbread kid plays?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Trucker: do you know what today is
Other Trucker: that a big 10-4
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?
Never mind itβs a sea-crate....
(I made this up please donβt murder me)
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?
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︎ Aug 20 2020
What do you call a rockstar that knows how to fight?
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Do you know what the first "NOT!" Joke ever was?
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Do you know what one shepherd said to the other shepherd?
Let's get the flock out of here.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
What do you call a wolf that knows it's a wolf
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Do you know what βpiratesβ are?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Do you know what they call the ability to predict sports scores?
ESPN.
(Credit to my husband who just laid this one on our kids and I)
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Do you know what's not funny any more?
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Do you know what Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother is called?
Brocco Lee
I'll see myself out.
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︎ Dec 27 2019
What do you call a lycanthrope who knows their limits?
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Do you know what to say to get goldβs attention?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Do you know what the worst part of being a garbage man is?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Do you know what happens when you crack an egg?
It becomes a shell of its former self.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Do you know what is used to provide vision at night at school playgrounds?
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︎ Jul 18 2020
Do you know what causes dry skin?
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Do you know what is so great about Finland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
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︎ May 26 2020
What do you call a potato that knows CPR?
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︎ Jun 10 2020
Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?
The Decoration of Independence.
-My partner's joke.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Do you know what I like about nuns?
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What Do You Call a Bird That Knows How to Fight?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Do you know what is over powered?
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︎ Jul 03 2020
Do you know what's odd?
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︎ May 03 2020
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. βHow do you know if the dog was dead?β She asked the boy. βI know because I pissed in his ear.β The teacher looked horrified. βWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??β
βI went up to him and went βPssstt!β in his ear and he didnβt move.β
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Do you know what 50 cent did when he was hungry?
58
Source: https://twitter.com/mskaybelle/status/1269123905870053376?s=19
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Do you know what is a fun guy thing?
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︎ May 09 2020
Do you know what is the worst part about being an egg?
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︎ Feb 13 2020
Do you know what makes me cross?
When the signal changes to a man walking.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Do you know what ratatouille is in Japanese?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 10 2020
Do you know what a clock does when it gets hungry
It goes back four seconds
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Do you know what happens when you are badly injured playing a game of peekaboo?
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Do you know what will happen if we pass universal healthcare?
All bums will be able to get colonoscopies.
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︎ May 19 2020
Did you know that today is the only day that tells you what to do?
March fourth!
(I told this to my coworkers and none of them appreciated my sense of humor)
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Do you know whatβs cool?
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︎ Feb 15 2020
What do you call a dog that knows magic?
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 11 2020
Do you know what goes great with coronaviris?
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︎ Mar 02 2020
So at 2:01PM, my dad walked into my room and said "It's two o'clock! Do you know what that means?"
I replied "No, What does it mean?"
He said..
"It means it's two o'clock!"
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Do you know what DNA stands for?
National Dyslexic Association
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︎ Mar 30 2020
Letβs say youβre driving and you see a little kid and a old person. What do you hit? (Donβt know if this is a dad joke but funny anyway.)
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︎ Feb 03 2020
Do you know what the primary olfactory organ is?
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︎ Dec 21 2019
Do you know whatβs smaller than a planet?
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︎ Sep 18 2019
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Do you know what the last thing to go through a fly's brain is as it hits your windshield?
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Everyone has heard of Mooreβs law. Do you know what Coleβs Law is?
If you take cabbage and mix it with mayonnaise you get a nice salad.
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︎ Feb 02 2020
Do you want to know what one of the coolest gifts you could ever get someone is?
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︎ Dec 26 2019
Do you know what makes me smile? Facial muscles
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Do you know what they call a tesla if it gets stolen?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Do you know what an enigma is?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 24 2020
Do you know whatβs just wrong? People without any toes on their feet.
But maybe Iβm just being lack-toes intolerant.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Steve jobs named an apple computer - Lisa; the same name as his daughter. Do you know what Lisa stood for?
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︎ Feb 12 2020
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
Do you know what is the most religious chord?
π︎ 26
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in
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︎ Jan 09 2020
My Vietnamese driver told me several riddles yesterday, do you know what they were?
First off a six-parter
- If there are 500 rocks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?
A: 499
- How do you get an elephant into a fridge? This is a three part process
A: open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.
- How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? This is a four part process
A: open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, close the door.
- All the animals go to heaven for a meeting, but one can't come, why not?
A: the giraffe, it's in the fridge.
- A weak old lady has to cross a river full of alligators, how does she get across?
A: the alligators are at the meeting in heaven.
- As soon as the old lady gets across the river she dies, how?
A: the rock fell on her head.
No 2
A real cool guy walks into a cafe. He wearing sunglasses, tidy haircut, but just a super cool guy all round.
He orders a glass of condensed milk and puts it on his table. Next time the waitress walks past he asks for a glass of black coffee. Now he has a glass of milk and a glass of coffee next to each other, this guy is real cool.
Next time the waitress walks past he orders a glass of ice. She's happy to do that for this dude because he is so cool. He mixes the milk and coffee with the ice and stirs with his little spoon.
Looks good.
The old man that owns the cafe walks up to him and says, 'I see your in the Navy".
How did he know?
A: he was wearing a naval uniform.
Anyone know similar nonsense?
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︎ Sep 21 2019
Do you know what a soldier's favorite type of shelter is?
A tan hut!!
Ps, my buddy who is a marine hates me for this joke
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Do you know at what mice pray?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Do you know what they call the security guards at Samsung?
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︎ Nov 15 2018
I tried to do some harder skiing courses once but you know what they say
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︎ Dec 17 2019
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
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︎ Nov 08 2019
What do you call a dinosaur that knows allot of words?
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Do you know what Osama Bin Laden's nickname was?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Do you know what the people who cracked the liberty bell deserve?
π︎ 20
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Do you know what Wyatt Earp's vegetarian brother is called?
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︎ Dec 27 2019
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Do you know what's not very breathtaking?
A respirator. Its very breathgiving
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Do you know what is a good hole food?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 24 2019
Peanuts are great and all, but do you know what George Washington Carver SHOULD have been famous for?
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︎ Jul 22 2019
Just made this up: Son, do you know what's my favorite tea flavor?
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Do you know what Murphy's Law is? It says that "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Do you know what Cole's Law is?
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︎ Jul 13 2018
Do you know what elves rely on during political campaigns?
π︎ 33
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Do you know what happened to the Ozone layer?
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 25 2019
Do you know what 50 cent did when he was hungry?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Do you know what βpiratesβ are?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What do you call a wolf that knows it's a wolf?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Do you know what 50 did when he was hungry?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Do you know what 50 did when he got hungry?
π︎ 5
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︎ May 30 2020
Do you know what 50 did when it got hungry?
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︎ May 29 2020
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?
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︎ Feb 09 2020
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is?
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︎ Sep 16 2019
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
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︎ Dec 04 2019
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
π︎ 21
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︎ Oct 27 2019
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 01 2019
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 02 2019
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