Do Good Design Puns

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

Hey guys, this might sound too cheesy and I'm not sure if I'm posting on the right subreddit.

Every Saturday I give my SO a printed typography paper that I personally design with a pun of her name on it (her name is Des, I call her Mae so either is good).

Here's a sample of what I do.

Problem is, I can make the designs, but I'm running out of puns. Here's a list of what I've already done:

Des puns:

• Hardest

• Wordes (Words)

• Widest

• Uncondesionally (Unconditionally)

• DrivES

• Dessert

• Fades

• Des (This)

• Holidess (Happy Holidays!)

• Desperate

• Desision (Decision)

• Decades

• Desert

• Destination

• Dress (DrESs)

• Despresso (Espresso)

Mae puns:

• Maend (I hope you don't maend(mind)
• Maecadamia (Macadamia)
• Maengo (Mango)
• Maecaroni (Macaroni)
• Maeple (Maple)
• Lifetimae (Lifetime)
• Imaegine (Imagine)
• Chamaeleon (Chameleon)
• Caramael (Caramel)
• Achievemaent (Achievement)
• Gmaes (Games)
• Maek (Make)
• Drmae (Dream)
• Dramey (Dreamy)
• Maesure (Measure)
• Blmae (Blame)
• Maet (Mate)
• Climaet (Climate)
• Ultimaet (Ultimate)
• Maebe (Maybe)
• Mae (My one and only)
• Mae (Whatever May Happen)
• Maen (You mean everything to me)
• Maent (We're meant to be)
• Amaezing (Amazing)
• Maeutiful (Beautiful... I know)
• Maechiatto (Macchiato)

I'd really appreciate some help if you guys have any puns reserved. Anything will do, really.

Thanks!

EDIT: Formatting

Using this image, can you give me a good catch phrase that is punny using around 7 letters or fewer, and having something to do with taxes, finance, helping people. The t-shirt is for a volunteer group at a law school that helps indigent people file taxes and participates in community education and advocacy in the area of financial literacy.

Thanks for all of your help!

I'm not usually one for bars, but since the smoking ban in Illinois, they're not so bad. I'm not much of a drinker either, but this one place in particular offers free soft drinks for designated drivers of groups of three or more. You have to get them from a location separate from the bartender. You declare yourself upon entering the place, then your hand is marked, and from that point, you're not allowed alcohol, but you get the free soft drinks.

Their specialty is their own brand of a mixed fruit drink that's really good. It's popular enough that you're usually standing behind six or seven people to wait your turn. So, Saturday night, while I'm waiting for mine, this cute blonde walks up behind me. I figured I'd try to be witty and asked her, "Can I buy you a drink?"

She scowled at me with, "Well aren't you the funny one?"

"What's with the attitude?" I asked her.

"Sorry," she said. "It's them." And she thumbed toward a table with (would you believe it?) a brunette and a redhead.

"Why?" I asked. "What'd they do?"

"I'm just getting sick of it," she said. "Every time we come here, it's always me in the punch line."

I have a good punch line but haven't been able to design a satisfying lead in for it:

Do you know why the string family decided to break up?

...

Apparently not (A parent-ly knot)

I had to run a couple of errands between then and now, so my memory might be a bit fuzzy, but I'll do best.

Friend 1: "Sarah"

Friend 2: "Shawn"

Future dad: "Sam"

Sarah: There is no good way to eat a taco. (There is a dismembered taco sitting on her plate.)

Shawn: I know, right? It's seriously the worst-designed food, like, ever.

Sarah: Back in [hometown], there's this restaurant that sells authentic Mexican tacos. There's no grease or anything, just chunks of chicken with guacamole and salsa and a bit of cheese on top, and it's SO GOOD. I really shouldn't even talk about them, it's just making me homesick.

Sam: You mean you shouldn't taco 'bout them?