If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Why are potatoes such bad dinner guests?

They usually show up to the party sMASHED or BAKED!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakingEthan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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Dad sent me this pic of his dinner "guests"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robina1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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A struggling young news reporter was having trouble getting good sound bites from the politicians she was sent out to interview, so she invited an experienced colleague out to dinner to ask for advice.

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".

Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podgress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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The bride-to-be and her soon-to-be mother-in-law didn't agree on much during the wedding planning

Both being from Texas, the MIL wanted something BIG and fancy. And the BTB wanted more of a traditional outdoors gathering. They couldn't even agree on what to serve their guests for dinner. As the date approached, they were barely speaking to each other.

In the end, it was a chili reception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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Dad and Son Team

Dinner guest: So last night I was watching a PBS documentary on Mars.

Father and Son simultaneously: Wow! How did you get back? (fist bump)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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Hey all! I'm getting married in September and a part of our Friday night dinner theme are dad jokes. Hit me with your best ones, please!

Like the title says. We're having a large backyard style dinner on the Friday night before our wedding, it's called "Dinner, Drinks, and Dad Jokes". So...we need lots of dad jokes to tell all of our guests. If you would be so kind, hit me with some of your favorite dad jokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jplopinyourpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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The time my Dad went above and beyond the call of duty, at a formal dinner party

Picture this.

A fancy Christmas dinner party at his new wife's opulent, sandstone estate house. Plates are being cleared from the lengthy, mahogony table that seats the fourteen well-to-do guests, the main course having just finished. All have feasted gloriously on our Christmas fare.

My Dad, playing the good host, picks up two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and proceeds to do a round of the table, chatting amiably with everyone as he circles. Those whose glasses are less than 90% full, he proceeds to top-up. I am sitting in the very centre of the long table, seated directly opposite a very well off lady in her early sixties, by the name of Margaret. My dad, having just topped off my glass, is now standing directly behind me.

This older woman, full of grace and charm, looks to my Dad and says, "Thank you so much for this glorious meal, John. It's been simply divine."

My Dad, "Not at all, Margaret, not at all. Could I charge your glass?"

Margaret, "Oh, no no, thank you. I've got the bottle in front of me!"

My Dad, quick of wit, and with a sneaky - yet charming - grin on his face, responds, "Ah, well, better that than a frontal lobotomy!"

I've never been more proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolloxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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At a hotel for a wedding

I was at a hotel for my best friend's wedding. After the rehearsal dinner we were in the lounge drinking (with permission from the hotel staff) and I went to the bathroom.

The bathrooms on the lobby level were right next to the ice machine, and we'd heard from another guest they were really fancy. I get back and my friend asks me how they were.

I showed him this picture and said "they were pretty cool"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingcarpet23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
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If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are expected to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction

πŸ‘︎ 573
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Royal etiquette: If Queen Elizabeth accidentally burps during dinner, the other guests must pretend that nothing happened.

Because Noble Gases shouldn’t have any reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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