PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, don’t open it.

It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YellowSnow2807
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Dong. Ding Dong.

James Bond's doorbell.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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When I say, "Ding dong." You say, "Aww."

"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"

All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePreissisRight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Took me a minute I can’t lie
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?

One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What do you sing when a witch gets married?

Ding! Dong! The witch is wed!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssCumBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What’s blue and not heavy

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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knock knock

who's there?

The electrician to fix your doorbell

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyBlueCat
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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My daughter insists she is becoming a Southern Belle.

I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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My girlfriend got me aroused, then grabbed her stuff and left.

I got ding-dong ditched

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tomisahoss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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What is the name of Bangkok's twin city?

Ding dong.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevonX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion

Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themannamedme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
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Sunday Morning Sex

Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/time2change76
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
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Ding dong...

*Crickets*

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

πŸ‘︎ 258
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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