Did you know male bees die after mating?
I guess it's HONEY..NUT..CHEERIO..
π︎ 961
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
Where do terrorists go when they die?
π︎ 939
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︎ Jan 08 2022
What happens to Jason Momoa once he dies?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 28 2021
What's the last thing you hear when a Redneck dies?
"Hey everybuddy, Watch This!"
π︎ 418
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
When I die I want my ashes placed into an hourglass for my family.
So they can check on me time after time.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 24 2021
What do you call Die Hard without Alan Rickman?
π︎ 3k
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︎ Nov 12 2021
The man who invented autocorrect has died...
His funfair will be helped next Monkey
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Nov 08 2021
My wife just told me the singer from the Monkees died. I didn't believe her.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 11 2021
Did yβall know that the irises in your eye are the last organ in the body to stop working after you die?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 10 2022
When I die, I want to be laid in my coffin on my stomach.
I want people to speak well behind my back.
π︎ 269
π
︎ Nov 28 2021
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like his passengers.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
A man recently died when a periodic table display fell on him...
The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 23 2021
I want to die like my grandpa, sleeping peacefully.
Not desperately screaming like the people in the bus he was driving.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Oct 20 2021
My 5th graderβs joke today: Two friends walked into a store (she meant βbarβ but she knows sheβs too young to patron a bar), and the 1st friend βIβll take an H2O!β. The 2nd friend says βIβll take an H2O, too!β And the 2nd friend died. Why?
Because H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide and itβs toxic!!
π︎ 76
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︎ Jan 04 2022
What does a german feel when he's afraid?
π︎ 2k
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︎ Sep 28 2021
Did you hear about the wizard that died of thirst?
π︎ 85
π
︎ Jan 04 2022
How do you talk to Mario after he dies?
A Luigi Board
credit: my 10 year old
π︎ 62
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
No Time To Die ...
π︎ 614
π
︎ Oct 06 2021
My flashlight died.
π︎ 807
π
︎ Nov 21 2021
If I die from hypothermia
Please just let everyone know how cool I was
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 08 2021
If I died right now, I wouldn't be sad.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
Did you hear about the insect that comes back to life after it dies?
π︎ 162
π
︎ Dec 02 2021
It's a shame Napoleon didn't die exploding
Then he would be Napoleon Blown apart
π︎ 56
π
︎ Nov 30 2021
If a plane crashes on the border of the US and Mexico and hundreds die in the crash, where do you bury the survivors?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 21 2021
Did you guys hear about that Italian chef who died?
π︎ 63
π
︎ Dec 14 2021
Is it true that swans sing before they die?
Of course! They're sure as hell not singing afterwards.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
What happened to the dying piece of spaghetti?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
This TikTok was of a horse walking in the bathroom. I saw this comment and just died laughing.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 29 2021
His dog died.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Nov 30 2021
When I die, Iβm going to open a comedy club in Hellβ¦
Itβll be called βThe Laughter-lifeβ! And itβs all dad jokes.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 16 2021
Your plane crashed and every single person died.
Only the married ones lived.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
Someone Has Been Dying to Post This...
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 17 2021
What do people say when a mathematician dies?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
My grief counsellor died.
He was so good, I donβt even care.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Dec 11 2021
Did you hear about the cook who died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. It was simply his thyme. His wife is so devastated cheese in need of our support.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 27 2021
I had a great joke about COVID...
but I don't wanna spread it around.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
How did Santa die
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2021
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Why did the musician die of an electric shock?
Because he played with a cord
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 11 2021
Did you hear the news about the man who died while sipping an earl grey?
π︎ 30
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︎ Dec 15 2021
did you hear about the man who almost died after his left arm and leg got cut off?
π︎ 52
π
︎ Dec 16 2021
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No, he got nailed before he died
π︎ 113
π
︎ Oct 11 2021
Just found out my stuttering Cousin died in prison
Damn, he couldnβt even finish his sentence
π︎ 61
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︎ Dec 05 2021
LPT - If you're cremated after you die
you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night
π︎ 74
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︎ Nov 01 2021
After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because...
π︎ 164
π
︎ Dec 06 2021
After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because...
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
When you die which part dies last?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
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