The porcelain dictator puns thread reddit.com/r/funny/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffualo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2008
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The dictator liked the drink...

it hit despot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Which dictator has the greatest passion for food?

Fidel Gastro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What used to be a nazi dictator ship other than germany?

The Bismarck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rigonicoxa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Which dictator is considered a hedonist by most religious practitioners?

Infidel Castro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.

I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ngabear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Son: Dad, what is a dictator?

Dad: That’s a jerk potato.

Son: So, what’s a dictatorship?

Dad: That’s a jerk potato that owns a boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_modean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What is an Italian dictators favorite snack?

Chocolate Mousselini

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Urinal-Cake2113
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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The current whereabouts of NK dictator still an Kim Jong-Unsolved mystery

When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unhertz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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What did the citizen say to the dictator?

Please stop "stalin" and feed us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Why did the dolphins elect a dictator?

Because they wanted to serve a greater porpoise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FknRepunsel
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you call a nice dictator?

A tator.

Courtesy of my boyfriend, who hates dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naturemom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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People say Robert Mugabe was an awful dictator but

I was his secretary for a short while and I understood every word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGinuineOne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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How does a Roman dictator cut his hair?

With a pair of caesars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateDaGreat79
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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There was once a communist dictator...

There was once a communist dictator who was unable to fulfill his promises of peace, land, and bread. Angered, the citizens of his country demanded he apologize and tell them his plans for the future. All night, he thought about what he would say. When he finally got on the stage, the crowd was eager to hear him β€” but he didn’t speak. Why?

I don’t know. He was just Stalin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesmartguava
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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What is the name of the dictator who is deaf?

Saddam Huss Hein?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TioMephi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Did you know a scientist studying pigeon sounds managed to single handedly dismantle a dictator's regime?

It was all thanks to his coo data.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadoShane
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WilsonHanks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
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What do you call a Cuban dictator with a tummy bug?

Fidel Gastro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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What do you call an Irish dictator?

An O'Ppressor

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
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What do you call a North Korean dictator who loves books?

Dear Reader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot_cousin
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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I drove a Communist Dictators' car...

It kept Stalin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryuguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2013
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When a dictator gives you a thumbs up or thumbs down

it’s just a rule of thumb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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What do you call a stupid dictator?

Idiot Amin.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
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What do you call a nonbeliever who's having gay sex with a Cuban dictator?

Infidel.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Most people know of Godwin's Law, that eventually every every internet discussion will reference a certain German dictator. TIL that there is another one about referencing a certain German salad; it's Cole's Law.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KadanJoelavich
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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The Dictator

So here's the setup: I recently started working for a taxi cab company. It's surprisingly lucrative, and a shitload better than McDonalds.

So I'm working, and I'm parked in front of a bar, hoping that a fare is gonna knock on my window, when about twenty feet or so in front of me, I see a very good friend of mine. I shout, and we spend the next few minutes shooting the breeze. A fare knocks on my window, and I driver her to where she needs to go.

After, I'm driving back to that bar, and I get a call from my friend, asking if I had another fare lined up. I didn't so he told me to come back, he's got a group for me. They get in the car, and these guys start bugging the shit out of me. Which I can handle. What I can't handle is when they start dealing each other cocaine in my back seat. At that point, I'm just livid. I tell them to give me my money and get the fuck out of my car.

Later, I chat my friend up on Facebook. I tell him that I'm super-grateful that he got me a fare, but to please not ever put those particular assholes in my car again. And since our relationship is built on surreal humor and snark, I start expanding the list. Those assholes. Colombian drug lords. Justin Beiber. Kim Jong-Un. Please, no Korean dictators.

"But what about a penis-shaped potato?"

I'll admit, that one threw me for a loop. But I tell him that potatoes are fine, regardless of shape, size, color, or type.

At that point, I could almost hear him laughing as he typed "Excellent. Instead of a dictator, I'll send you with a dick tater."

I was so pissed off I had walked straight into that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoldierOfTruth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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Halloween costume idea: Dictator

Tape potato to crotch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornytoad69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
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My Friend Made a Collection of Dictator-Themed Valentines... ur8883.tumblr.com/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Afoardable
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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Why do dictators prefer trains to cars?

A good conductor means less resistance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lepruhkon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2013
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Dad said he wanted to be a dictator next halloween...

"But your stepmom doesnt want me to walk around with a potato on my weiner"

He dropped this on me 30 minutes ago and i cant stop laughing

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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