Deranged

A cowboy who has lost his job.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Augusta_Wynd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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After a deranged fan castrated several Tennessee pro footballers with a knife..

..a whole team of surgeons was needed to re-member the Titans.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockmixer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 684
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Someone stole my oven

I'm quite deranged over it

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My dad's perfect response to my sisters complaint

My older sister recently had a new roommate move in and found that roommate to be a bit careless with shared items. She had recently just bought new ceramic knives and came home to find one of the tips broken off. Lamenting to my dad when she came home to visit she exclaimed "$80 knife I just bought is already broken", slamming the broken knife down on the counter.

My dad without missing a beat, looks up from his book, straight faced and says "Well, this is why you can't have knife things."

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_pope
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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When someone is so crazy they have their gun club membership taken away, they're...

...deranged.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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