Delivery order Puns

Sleigh Queen

She says it was worth the weight.

He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”

Ordering orange chicken curry: 20 bucks

Delivery: 2 bucks

Opening it and finding out they forgot something: Riceless!

When are they planning, to call in that order for delivery or is it going to be takeout?

My roommate and I are ordering some Chinese food for delivery.

She asks "what's a good tip for a delivery driver"

I reply "always wear a seat belt"

She won't talk to me now.

Ok so here's what you do.

Go onto Amazon or Ebay or whatever and purchase a small dog cage. Make SURE that is is made of either completely STEEL. Nothing else. Get advanced shipping or whatever gets it to your door as fast as humanly possible. Now wait patiently for your package to arrive. Once the delivery person knocks on your door to get you to sign for your package tell them to wait until you open the box. If they seem leery of you explain that you have had trouble in the past with your parcels and you just want to make sure that your order is correct. Open the box and remove the cage from the box. Inspect it thoroughly. Now LISTEN CAREFULLY! This is the part you can't mess up. Look up from the cage and stare into that poor delivery person's eyes. Like so deep you can see their ancestors. Say these exact words. "I knew it... I can't believe I ordered a nickel less cage."

My boss is nearby when the delivery comes in, one cardboard box with stuff for our birthday parties.

Boss: "Wait, didn't we get this yesterday?"

Delivery Guy: "Yeah, you got two boxes."

Boss, confused: "But why did they show up on two separate days?"

[they ponder this]

Boss: I ordered them for two-days delivery.

Me: Well, the delivery did take two days.