What did Davy Crockett say when the waitress brought his pie?

"Remember the a la mode!"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?

His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front ear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 71
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2018
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How does Davy Crockett like his pie served?

Alamode.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SBeckerDTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2019
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Davy Crockett was into a bar ...

The bar gets angry. Crockett and the bar wrassle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xwhy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
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Ray Davies wanted to start a new band...

...but I heard he was unable to get the kinks out.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/megawang
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2018
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Ray Davies, Dave Davies and some friends each hired some personal trainers to figure out a training routine.

At first it was hard but eventually they worked out the kinks.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustAQuickComment_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2018
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An old one my dad uses: How many ears did Davy Crocket have?

Three, cause he was king of the wild front ear.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheGeorge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2016
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Yorrick Davis.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2021
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Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub

I’m looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.

Thank you in advance for any ideas

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kentuckyderby001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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Class, can anyone tell me how Sammy Davis Jr. lost his eye?

"I can, sir...."

Wrong! Car accident.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2020
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Why does Miles Davis hate traveling in Europe?

because they keep calling him Kilometers Davis there

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/npg33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2018
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My wife told me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was kidding.

Then I saw her face...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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Tried to play Miles Davis on my guitar...

...I Kind of Blue it.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/turnipthief
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2013
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I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis

It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KitchenParty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2017
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Why was Thomas Edison able to invent the light bulb?

Because he was very bright

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/memesneverdie77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
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Ever since the kraken quit smoking..

He’s been Davy Jonesing

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/husbus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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I think Davis might be a dad... imgur.com/gallery/hK86UQx…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2013
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Ham Sandwich walks into a bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 952
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LookAtMyPartyDisco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2016
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Did you know Davie crocket had 3 ears?

A left ear, a right ear and a wild fronti-ear!

Courtesy of my father

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TBDMfan666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2014
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I recently discovered whimsical jazz.

My favorite musicians so far are Derpy Hancock, Charles Dingus, and Smiles Davis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gamefreq0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2019
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Did you know that before the civil war

In school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timmyjaymes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2018
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Dad joked my professor, got threatened with a 3 page essay

Some background, I'm taking Listening to Jazz this semester to fill my arts credit. Last week the professor talked about musicians Miles Davis and John Coltrane, and their albums Kind of Blue and A Love Supreme.

During class he was trying to explain to us what the difference between different kinds of jazz were. So he pulled all the students wearing blue and asked each student he pulled to describe their shade of blue. I was picked and when it was my turn, I just looked at him and said "My shirt looks... Kind of Blue" referencing a Miles Davis' album. My professor double face palmed and was so disgusted by me I almost felt bad for laughing. He threatened to give me a 3 page essay on why that was the worst answer I could've given.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thatmanstan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2015
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2014
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A bunch of musicians decided to have a meal together.

Jonathan Davis brought the corn and Fred Durst made biscuits but they were a little too limp. Marshal Mathers wasn't prepared, so all he could provide was some M&M's. Neil Peart had to leave early because he was in a rush, and the meal was so bad that it disturbed David Draimen.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/masta666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2014
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My sisters boyfriend dadjoked her!

I asked my sister if she knew any jazz that I would like. She said "Miles Davis", and then her boyfriend said "Is there a Kilometers Davis?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JPeddle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2014
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Hit my family while watching jack the giant slayer...

While watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.

Mom : wasn't he from willow?

Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.

Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?

Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.

Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw

Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ohcrayyy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2014
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Waiter told me this one last night...

What do you call endless love?

Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis playing tennis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_AM_NOT_FAT_OR_A_HO
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2013
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Jazz dadjoke

So while preparing for a dinner party Miles Davis "My Funny Valentine" comes on the player. I have been slowly trying to thin out some of the unecessay tunes on our device. I don't really care much for jazz, but the wife likes it.

Me: So I assume you like this song?

Wife: Yeah

Me: I feel like I am at friend who enjoys torturous jazz's house.

Wife: It's not like it's free jazz.

Me: Free or not, it's taxing my ears!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruderthanyourmom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2014
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Hoe many ears did Davy Crockett have?

Three. A left ear. A right ear. And a wild frontier.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imabookwyrm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2019
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How many ears does davy crockett have?

Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a wild front ear

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sizzleprint
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2017
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How does Davy Crockett like his pie?

Alamo

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stinkpicklez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2017
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