To avoid cross contamination
Mooses.
A: Beef
...does he become trespacito?
Tappan Zee Deutsche?
Tick-Tock-Toe
Legal tender
J- walking
No doubt she's a Cat-holic.
Jaywalking.
They're natural Collaboradors!
(Sorry)
Hot cross puns.
I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]
Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, βA pun is the lowest form of wit,β a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.
Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, βIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.β Oscar Levant has added a tag line: βA pun is the lowest form of humorβwhen you donβt think of it first.β John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.β
Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, βTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... β
Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and thoβ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.
Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesnβt mean that the punnery isnβt fu
... keep reading on reddit β‘
To get to the other pride
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
Because it's a feline.
My family doesn't appreciate my humor.
Collie-flour!
To get to the other sigh
He wanted to go on another sidewalk.
they drilled a Pilate hole.
Elephino
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
No tres passing.β
Bullshit.
To get hit by a car. I bet you didnβt see that one coming!
The chicken hadn't evolved yet.
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a doG!
I don't know either but it sure can pick corn!!
To get to the other slide
A hare dryer
My life is a joke.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
A mess
It got stuck in a crack!
I donβt know, but the road was fuming!
Because dogs were chasing it.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
Because the chickens weren't around
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
Halfway there.
*Too soon?
It didn't it got hit by a truck ..
Inspires by another terrific joke...
Cause he was on a road trip.
Because there was a zebra crossing
A Mooooose
That was the punchline
To get to the otherβs hide.
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
That's Jesus to a t.
ELE-EF-I-NO
There was a sign that said no tres passing.
A walkie talkie.
to get to the other side γ·οΈ
He chickened out.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Otter side.
Elif-ino
My life is a joke.
