I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit Β£10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..

β€œLike Β£10 notes” I told him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Apparently, I’ve been using counterfeit electricity at home.

I’m a victim of electron fraud!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.

There's lots of prose and cons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I caught someone selling counterfeit spaghetti

He was an impasta

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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The wife asked me to reconsider making counterfeit legos in our garage

I said, "the die is cast".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orthoxerox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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They say Counterfeit diapers are an accident waiting to happen

But I think they are full of crap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Home for the holidays and playing Monopoly with dad...checks for counterfeits.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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I bought a tombstone but i realized it was counterfeit

What a RIP-off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MMWItalianWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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What do you call a farmer who sells counterfeit paintings on the side?

A corn artist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankDaTank787
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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There’s a recent report that counterfeit $1 bills have increased in circulation.

Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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I accidentally bought counterfeit Barilla once...

It was an impasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedComet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
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How can you tell if your cornflakes are counterfeit?

You check the cereal number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dixie_Vicious
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
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What do you call a counterfeit phone?

A phoney.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acomp182
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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A friend once told me he ingested a large amount of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught with them...

he was full of non-cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Floodlight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2015
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The more I think about counterfeiting coins, the more I think I’m going to do it.

It makes a ton of cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghorse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What kind of temper tantrums do fake presidents always throw?

Counterfeits!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Don't try to get a career in counterfeiting.

You won't make any real money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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Need help finding a pun about counterfeiting

For my english class, I have to write a feature article. The headline has to be punny, so much that it's almost cringy. I can't use "Friend or Faux". I had "Dirty trade for a clean profit!" but it doesn't really make sense. Thanks people!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/colorlessbacon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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If you pay for your kitchen remodel with fake bills...

You’re counterfeiting the counter fitter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eliza_Swain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Got me goodβ€”What do you call the guy who got away with counterfeiting coins for over a decade?

Long Con Silver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Audiophial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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Just found out my favorite foot fetish website was taken down

Turns out they had counterfeiting charges against them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krit-NJ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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In the supermarket, my son and I saw a cashier holding a customer's note up to the light.

"Is that counterfeit?" my son asked.

I said, "Don't be silly, son. Counters don't exercise."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I make A LOT of money.

I probably shouldn't brag, I'm a counterfeiter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1organicmachine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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My dad made a lot of money.

He was counterfeiting .

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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Pad your repertoire with these
  1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
  2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
  3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
  4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
  5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
  6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
  7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
  9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
  10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
  11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
  12. PARADOX Two physicians
  13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
  14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
  15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
  16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
  17. RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
  18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
  19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
  20. PARADIGMS 20 cents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Crockett
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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My dad just e-mailed me a list of definitions:
  1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

  2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

  3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

  4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

  5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

  6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

  7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

  8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

  9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

  10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

  11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

  12. PARADOX: Two physicians

  13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

  14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

  15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

  16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

  17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

  18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

  19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

  20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideRemarkDept
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
🚨︎ report

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