I’ve secretly converted to Norse Paganism

Shhh...I’m trying to keep it Loki

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zthazel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My friend can convert modern currency to Ancient Roman currency in his head.

It's a talent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuiceNoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.

It was trivial per suit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PythagorasJones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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My friend likes to convert all of his dollars into quarters.

He's changed a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What do you call a convertible that shows no mercy?

Roofless

(I’ll see myself out now)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Senas006
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Here’s why presidents don’t use convertible cars anymore.

The facts are mind blowing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woof_574
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?"

I replied, "Mmm...."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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My grandfather keeps telling us that when he dies, we should try to convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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I slept horribly. I kept dreaming I was a Catalytic Converter.

I woke up exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library

Talk about having to suffer in silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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I'm from a country where Sikhism is forbidden, but I converted.

I had to hide and go Sikh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theslother
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

It makes me LIVID.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to

fishlam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertofgilead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Why is the USA afraid to convert to using kilograms instead of pounds?

We're afraid of mass confusion!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BartlebyX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Since converting to online school

I have became an official zoomer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy627
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My Indian friend keeps trying to get me to convert to his religion and it's starting to work...

It's Sikh-ening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Convertible pants to shorts really do allow you to change on the fly.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carlbuba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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What car do missionaries drive ?

Convertibles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who converted a Concorde into his home?

He likes to live life in the fast plane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/im-wit-dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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I live in a converted church.

I'm living on a prayer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zerotailb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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It’s good music
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guzforster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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When you convince a Jew to convert to Hinduism.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheExist3r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I'm in favor of the US converting to the metric system

You could say I'm a pro-grammer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dlight98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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My girlfriend asked me how to convert a document to PDF...

But I’ve never heard of that religion before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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What do you call it when someone was jewish, converts and then converts back?

Don't worry about it, it was a re-torah-cle question

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trevski143
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Listening to AC/DC
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReeeTheHammerBoy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?

A centipede

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwfabrication
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why did the shopkeeper try to convert Jesus?

He was trying to turn a prophet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/semicolonbanks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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My ex-girlfriend's dad turned 50 and bought himself a Sebring convertible.

He was having a midlife Chrysler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquarePegSquared
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Ice Cube converted to Judaism?

Now he's Ice Berg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crooked_Cricket
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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How do you convert a fox into an elephant?

You marry her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewers86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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You know what’s great about a dachshund and a convertible?

You can ride around topless with your wiener out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terrible01
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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I tried to convert to Judaism, but I was rejected because I’m not circumcised.

I guess I didn’t make the cut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What could scientists do to convert different blood types?

Edit: typo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amranwag
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Hear about Muslim that divorced himself from Islam by converting to Catholicism? He paid his tithe to the local Mosque

...as Allah Money

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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If you never convert fractions to decimals,

You are missing the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A member of the local church came to my house and asked me to convert

Me being a cheese maker said: I already believe in Gouda

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankestTestes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Elvis Presley considered converting to Islam before he died. He even settled on a Muslim name:

Ahmal Shooq-Up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Before he died, my grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm from a country where Sikhism is forbidden, but I converted.

I had to hide and go Sikh

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theslother
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Converting the numbers 51,6 and 500 into Roman Numerals doesn't just make me mad...

It makes me LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolishTurnip87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather’s last wish was that we should convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Converting the numbers 51,6 & 500 makes me LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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