Condiments puns
- He said "You walk ahead, I'll ketchup with you."
2."Are you sure?" Asked the cop
"I saw it with mayonnaise"replied the witness.
- The vexed cucumber said "I'm in a pickle right now."
- Oh! And I mustard that this is my first post on Reddit.
You can shoot people with mayonnaise, but not other condiments
Your crimes will then ketchup to you.
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
Whats a horse's favorite sandwich condiment?
Mayo....cause mayo-neighs.
What does a condiment wizard perform?
What’s a horse’s favourite condiment?
Mayo-neighs.
Courtesy of my dad.
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
What kind of condiment works as a laxative?
What is a cat's favourite condiment?
What do you call a funny condiment?
A sauce of endless entertainment.
Wife: Remember to practice safe snacks and to use condiments
Me: Baby stop, you’re making me hungry
I think I found out who invented condiments,
Her name is May Anne Hayes
What do call a condiment that raises horses?
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What is a greenkeeper's favourite condiment?
What is a cows and a horses favorite condiment?
Moo-neighs
Thank you, I'll show myself out.
Why dose nobody tell jokes about condiments
Where do condiments go when they get sick?
My wife despises a certain condiment
I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!
I make art out of condiments
My latest work is a mustardpiece
My old man used to think he was hilarious at the McDonald’s drive thru when the server asked, ‘Any condiments?’
He always responded, ‘Compliments? You look very nice today!’
(Yes probably a repost)
What's Pac-Mans favorite condiment?
What credit card do you use for buying condiments?
What do you say when the condiment you have with fish and chips goes away?
My dog for into the condiments last night
Now I have a Gulden retriever.
I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...
The woman at Subway asked what condiments I wanted. I said everything but mustard.
She said "We don't have butt mustard."
When food poisoning breaks out at the Annual Condiments Convention...
"We'll ketchup later but first I mus-turd!"
What condiment was granted knighthood?
Sir Racha! (Sriracha).
As much as I don’t want to admit it, this is something I came up with (and I am a dad).
What is a collies favourite condiment?
What do you call a Native American cancer patient with an affinity for Japanese condiments?
Do you know who is the leader in condiment city?
"We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'”
I wanted to dress as a condiment for Halloween.
But I couldn't mustard up the courage.
Luck rituals in the Australian Open.
I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.
I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.
Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."
He just smiled...
...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.
I don't fear condiments...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
