If you give a man a fish, you feed him for the day.
If you give a man a poisoned fish, you feed him for his lifetime.
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
If Swedish Fish were filled with chocolate and peanut butter, would they be Reese's Pisces?
Why are fish so easy to weigh
Because they come with there own scales
What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?
Why can't blind people eat fish ?
There are two fish in a tank
One says to the other, "How so you drive this thing?"
What did one fish say to the other fish
Before going away the neighbours gave me a spare key to feed their cat.
Seems pretty stupid to me, though. I wouldn't want him to get it stuck in his throat.
What do you call a fake koi fish?
Where can you find all the famous fish hanging out before an awards show?
Why did the fish go to jail?
What type of fish tastes great with custard?
Where do fish keep their money?
What do you call a fish with two knees
A two-knee fish (say it fast)
What was the first thing the Detective said whilst investigating a murder in the fish market?
"hm.. something seems fishy in here.."
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day
Smack him across the face with the fish and he'll stop annoying you forever
I called my wife and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home.
She just grunted. I think she regrets letting me name the twins.
I had to quarantine after feeding a crow
I had been exposed to corvid
What did the Fish see when the streaming stopped?
How many pachyderms does it take to feed a Neanderthal tribe?
Who are two good friends you should always take fishing?
What type of fish only comes out at night?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What music do fish listen to
Why do fish no longer swim in schools?
Fishing licenses are bogus
What's the difference between a Soviet soldier and a fish?
The fish lasts longer in it's tank
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party
for all in tents and porpoises.
What did the fish say before biting the lure?
Walleye suppose I’ll be nice and give the fisherman some action. “Bass”ically I don’t want him to have a “Crappie” day.
Which classical song was composed for tuna fish?
What do you call a guy who catches fish for himself?
Why did the fisherman quit fishing?
Because he had haddocknough
What's the smallest fish in the world?
When you have a moment let minnow.
My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?
Why did the fishes radio stop working?
Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day ...
Give a man a poisoned fish, and you’ll feed him for a lifetime!
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
What do you call a fish wearing a tie?
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other.....
How do you drive this thing ?
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they come with their own scales.
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?!?!"
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
They come with their own scales
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
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