After doing a lot of self reflecting and researching while going through therapy I came up with a list of tricks our brain plays with us. These thought patterns make dealing with, and learning to overcome, SA particularly difficult. I realized almost all of these apply to me and my mental health has been worse off because of it. I encourage you to go through the list and see which thought patterns you experience with SA and which ones are holding you back. Understanding out thoughts, consciously or not, and what is going on in our head is a part of overcoming SA. Remember these are irrational thoughts you have, with a negative bias. Try to point out when you feel these thoughts and remind yourself that you can challenge them. And of course talking about your feelings in a safe space with others you trust and getting help from professional is a great way to overcome SA.
1: Comparing myself to others
2: Holding others in high regard and myself in low regard
3: Focusing on the negative parts of myself while downplaying the positives
4: Imagining I will automatically fail in social situations
5: Putting too much pressure on myself to perform well when socializing
6: Dreading rejection from others
7: Assuming others naturally won’t like me
8: Taking criticism too personally
9: Setting the bar too high for myself and feeling that I should be more than what I am now
10: Reflecting on my past failures and thinking it will happen again
11: Thinking others are overly-analytical and judgmental and looking for flaws in me
12: Thinking others won’t accept that I have flaws and only are seeking perfection from me
13: Assuming past failures and mistakes mean a flaw in my character
14: Treating my feelings as if they are true facts
15: wanting to avoid social situations and missing opportunities in order to avoid feeling of anxiety
16: Feeling nervous to be open and intimate and share your life with others
17: Feeling that my lack of confidence and feelings of nervousness while socializing make me less likeable or less worthy of friendship than others who do possess these qualities
18:Thinking I need to be extraverted, confident, outgoing, and bold to be likable
19: Treating yourself far too harshly; much more negative and unfairly compared to how others would realistically treat you in real life
20: Letting loneliness consume your life
21: Letting your social anxiety define who you are
22: Feeling hopeless about being able to make change and im
... keep reading on reddit ➡https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/elon-musk-cognitive-biases.html
What's interesting in this list of "cognitive biases" is number 32:
>Framing Effect. Drawing different conclusions from the same information depending on how it's framed.
One of the main planks of CBT, which presumes to teach you about proper cognition, is getting you to counterfactually "reframe" your interpretation of situations by instilling doubt in your own memories, manipulating language/connotations, and generally gaslighting you.
It's interesting that a therapy modality founded on hyper-rationalist principles is actually so irrational in practice (and it reveals why teaching "cognitive biases" in school is bound to fail in its intention of producing clearheaded citizens, because schoolteachers aren't any better than therapists).
link: https://mentalhealthexercises.substack.com/p/distortion-practice-014
Hey there!
So I’m a 24 year old Latino immigrant bio student, now living in Florida. I was just diagnosed about 6 months ago and I honestly always knew that I was different somehow, both in Venezuela and here in the US.
My dad is an interesting character though. I know it isn’t entirely his fault, as the society there is kinda ridiculous! Especially as we didn’t live in the capital city. As the man, he was expected to discipline harshly his children, and oh boy I remember he did (not physical abuse at all). I can assure you that he at least does not have ADHD, but maybe other untreated disorders. My mom does seem to have ADHD PI, and their marriage have been stable, yet with weird dynamics as I can’t really confirm to you that it is a loving marriage. They still together though and they treat each other like best friends and seem happyish on being together, but I don’t see that passion or love for each other, and I never had.
In school, I did perform fairly well and was well behaved, and every teacher and counselor told me I had much potential, as “without studying you’re smart,” but I did study, only just at the last minute, with the same level of retention as studying for 2 weeks (believe me, I tried). I was seen as normal, educated and well behaved to all adults, but I did came out as annoying and weird for most of my classmates. Many reasons were in play, but the main ones were that I wasn’t good at sports or some video games because I got easily distracted and very bored after a little while. As you can tell, I did build up resentment because of that, even if I didn’t show it externally. Unfortunately, I’m not proud to say that I became kinda predatory at 12-13, but not in the physical bullying game, more on the trynna tell you “I’m unpredictable” kinda way, and I did choose my “victims.” It’s kinda fucked up but I saw it as a game, a type of bonding which I see it was one-sided in retrospective. It consisted on me researching ways on inflicting painful stimuli without damaging the skin or leaving bruises randomly, either on the hallways or during recess (to be fair, I wasn’t the only one, but I did become fixated, maybe as a cry for help in socialization). At first, I noticed some saw me as cool, but over time I became just weird and a “psycho.” I’m really not sure how I never was caught, even though I was careful, I was still a kid. I don’t even think my parents know about it, and I think that is worse.. I should’ve been apprehended, no matter
... keep reading on reddit ➡One session my former therapist gave me a worksheet (that she probably found on page 1 of Google) listing about a dozen "cognitive distortions." They were broad, vague, and overlapping (catastrophizing, over-generalization, magnification, magical thinking etc). I pointed this out and she became flustered.
However, the common theme between them seemed to be "believing things without there being evidence for it." Okay, fair enough.
So, I challenged my therapist on this and brought up a previous conversation we had. I told her a negative belief about myself is that I have 0 romantic worth. The evidence for this is that no one has ever wanted to date me despite putting in a lot of effort, and I have been explicitly mocked for being ugly, awkward, and told that I'm undateable etc. Obviously, this is not a thought I wish to have, but I can't think of any counter evidence, so I asked her if she had any counter evidence. Her response to that was "It's not my job to point out your positive qualities (lmao). You have to believe that you have romantic worth. Even if other people don't see it. Even if you don't have evidence of it yourself. You just have to keep telling yourself tha you're worthy."
So, I'm the one engaging in "cognitive distortions" by having an evidence based belief, but it's perfectly reasonable to tell myself a broad platitude with, by her own admission, no evidence whatsoever?
Cognitive distortions are an easy way to gaslight a client and tell them their thoughts are invalid. This subconsciously teaches the client not trust their own thoughts or judgement. Rather than explore the negative beliefs, you should just ignore them and tell yourself platitudes. It's like therapists are incapable of computing thoughts, however rational, if they are negative. However, continually telling yourself broad, unfounded, thoughts beliefs are perfectly healthy.
Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails a ditty on cognitive distortions. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid a serendipitous mental clarity!
https://youtu.be/xTDJoCYxojI
Just a little rant for all the batty old psych nurses on my unit who think mandating a vaccine is unethical, but relish the opportunity to medicate a patient against their will with potentially harmful antipsychotics.
Tldr; I'm no contact with my whole fucking abusive family but I still have imaginary arguments with them in my head. I'm 34f and have 3 kids. Pet free for near a decade after a long childhood filled with animal abuse and neglect. I believe I'm a good pet owner. The kids want a dog, which we've reluctantly decided to go through with. I don't know how to reconcile my childhood with my identity as a good pet owner, nor how to stop arguing with ghosts in my head.
Tw animal abuse and neglect.
When I was young, my abusive and narcissistic dad used to let us get any pets we wanted. We had every kind you could imagine, save a dog. Cat, a series of birds, lizards, frogs, salamanders, hamsters, a duck, a rabbit (all at different times). No more than 3-4 animals at a time. The dwarf rabbit was mine. My parents were divorced and I only went to our dad's house every other weekend. I cared a lot about the animals.
Most of them died early. Salamanders got caught in the aquatic plants. One hamster my brother accidentally stepped on. I still want to know what happened to the cat, no one will talk about it. She came home one day half skinned. No blood, very clean perfect rectangular cuts. I didn't understand anatomy back then, but it wasn't through the abdominal wall and it confused me. She wasn't scared (maybe in shock??), accepted petting. completely bizarre. My brother thinks she probably got hit by a car? I still don't understand how a car could make such a perfect superficial wound. I never saw her again after that day. I think my dad maybe killed her, I don't know why no one will talk about the fucking cat to me. It's like she never existed.
There was often no food at my dad's apartment. Of any the kind. There were many days I went without. One time I spilled boiling water all over myself trying to make Mac n cheese. Another time I was punished for making a mess (I knew you could make bread out of flour and water, and I'd found a sack of flour. I couldn't figure out how to make dough though). I was under 10th percentile for weight and height, every doctor I ever had commented on it. Friends, friend's parents. Everyone. People would grab my wrists and wrap their fingers around it to show how small it was. Gasp when I took my shirt off at the pool. At soccer my friends wouldn't let me sit on their laps for hair braiding because my butt was 'bony and hurt'. I used to try to scrounge change to buy an egg roll from a grocery store a mile away. After a while the
... keep reading on reddit ➡From Dr. Vinay Prasad: https://www.medpagetoday.com/opinion/vinay-prasad/94074?xid=fb_o&trw=no
>COVID-19 cases are climbing and sanity is declining. Here are seven cognitive distortions I routinely see when it comes to talking about SARS-CoV-2.
>
>1. Misusing Both-Sidesing
>
>Both-sidesing occurs when the media present two sides as equally valid, when one in fact is wrong. It gives false equivalence to a flawed idea. For instance, a debate on whether the earth is round or flat would be both-sidesing.
>
>However, if you introduce pandemic restrictions that have never or rarely been implemented before -- travel bans, school and business closures, mask mandates, and military enforced lockdowns (as in Australia) -- it is inevitable some smart people will feel the harms outweigh the benefits, and equally inevitable that other smart people will feel we aren't doing enough. In these cases, having a forum to debate the ideas is not both-sidesing, but rather the legitimate purpose of media and universities.
>
>Recently, dueling editorials -- one by MedPage Today Editor-in-Chief Marty Makary, MD, and Cody Meissner, MD, which argued against masking children in schools, and one by Kanecia Zimmerman, MD, and Danny Benjamin, MD, which argued in favor -- came out in the Wall Street Journal and New York Times, respectively. CNN covered both sides in a brief television debate, interviewing Meissner and Benjamin. Bring popcorn!
>
>Some commenters labeled the coverage "both-sidesing" -- because they felt Meissner's position was demonstrably wrong. Yet Meissner's view is the current position of the U.K., which despite various mitigation strategies has never mandated masking for kids younger than 12, and where only some secondary schools have reintroduced masking after mandates were lifted in May. Benjamin's position, meanwhile, is consistent with the CDC's in recommending masking kids as young as 2 years old.
>
>I've written on [this topic elsewhere](https:/
Yeah I just can’t stop overthinking, thinking about what other people are thinking (mind reading), catastrophizing, etc etc. I think I’m managing a little better than months prior (every month is so different and I’m trying really hard to make this better naturally), except I did get into a fight w my friend yesterday when I simply could have not said anything ;( but at the same time, our relationship was on my mind sm and it was giving me anxiety so I have a little bit of relief now. It’s a bruised relationship but there isn’t a huge loss given that we’ve been growing apart. I don’t blame pmdd on the fight but me overthinking and having anxiety def is pmdd related. Anyway, yeah pmdd is so fucking real.
Cognitive distortions are typically defined as negative or irrational patterns of thinking. These distort a person’s perception of the environment and situations around them. Cognitive distortions were first noted by Aaron Beck. Some of the cognitive distortions are as follows:
• All-or-nothing: This refers to the tendency to see things in black and white avoiding the grey. Finding a middle ground is usually avoided and things are looked at in extremes.
• Overgeneralization: Categorizing various people, situations or objects based on your own experiences is known as overgeneralization. It is the process of stereotyping objects with no evidence, only based on your prior encounters.
• Discounting the positives: Rejecting the positive aspects of a situation or the positive experiences simply on the pretext of ‘they do not count’.
• Fortune telling: Anticipating things or situations will turn out badly and being convinced that your predictions will be true. This usually induces worry and apprehension of the future events.
• Mind reading: Predicting that one knows what others may be thinking is another cognitive distortion.
• Should-statements: Placing false and unrealistic expectations from oneself and from certain situations and telling oneself that things must unfold in certain ways.
• Emotional reasoning: This is based on the assumption that one’s negative feelings truly reflect how things are in reality.
• Magnification: This is the phenomenon of exaggerating things out of proportion and giving them more importance than they truly have.
• Personalization: You view yourself as the cause of an external event that you had no control over in reality. This usually results in excessive guilt and remorse.
I have anxiety so I experience a lot of cognitive distortions, like catastrophising is one I do a lot. I’m working on it through CBT with my therapist and I’m getting a lot better. Sometimes I fear that my negative thinking (worries/anxieties) will manifest into a horrible reality.
I made a new friend after being betrayed by a long string of different friends. Felt good about it. But, suddenly the vibe is just off. Like usually we hang out everyday and text a lot, but it just suddenly stopped. I don't know what to do. Like on paper it's fine, we studied a bit together (but they left abruptly) and we texted a bit today, but it's just different. They're having a dinner later with their friend group that I have been slowly integrated into, and they all asked me if I was going when I saw them today (she wasn't there). She didn't tell me about the dinner at all. I don't know what to do or think. My first thought is always that I did something wrong, they hate me, i'm annoying, they're sick of me, etc. But it's plausible she just forgot or is feeling bad about something else. And yet I still think it's me who is the problem.
How do I tell when something is a cognitive distortion or if it's actually happening? And even if I am perceiving something off, how do I always stop assuming it's always something wrong with me? At what point do I talk to someone about it? I know I can't always talk to someone if I feel bad because then I'd always be bringing up things that ended up not being bad at all. I can't tell what is real and what isn't.
I am curious of how common the term is in this crowd. I'm doing self therapy/research and learning about the different cognitive distortions has been a good start for me.
> We will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure what is normal anyway.
> We have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
Cognitive distortions make things seem different from what they are. It's difficult to do anything about something you can't see!
Without distortion, there are still problems (CBT isn't a magical bliss-out drug) but they are real. You can solve and/or accept a real thing.
Alas, this is technically a psychiatry blog
link: https://mentalhealthexercises.substack.com/p/distortion-practice-013
link: https://mentalhealthexercises.substack.com/p/distortion-practice-012
link: https://mentalhealthexercises.substack.com/p/distortion-practice-011
