Christopher Cazenove Puns

Just something I was curious about. In total, how many people have portrayed James Bond, across every form of media? So far I have 21 people:

Television:

• Barry Nelson (1954)
• Christopher Cazenove (BBC documentary, 1973)

Radio:

• Bob Holness (Moonraker, 1958)
• Michael Jayston (You Only Live Twice, 1990)
• Toby Stephens (BBC radio drama series, 2008-)
• Rupert Penry-Jones (Trigger Mortis, 2015)
• Matthew Goode (Forever and a Day, 2018)

Film:

• Bob Simmons (1962)
• Sean Connery (1962-67, 1971, 1983)
• David Niven (1967)
• George Lazenby (1969)
• Roger Moore (1973-85)
• Timothy Dalton (1987-89)
• Pierce Brosnan (1995-2002)
• Daniel Craig (2006-2021)

Video Games:

• Adam Blackwood (Tomorrow never Dies, The World is not Enough PS1)
• Tim Bentinck (The World is Not Enough N64, 007 Racing)
• Andrew Bicknell (Agent Under Fire)
• Maxwell Caulfield (Nightfire)
• Jason Carter (Goldeneye Rogue Agent)
• Timothy Watson (007 Legends)

Did I miss anyone?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The Sisters is a French animated series created by Christophe Cazenove and William Maury, based on their comic strip Les Sisters, published by Bamboo Édition. In France, it was initially broadcast on August 28, 2017 on M6 in the M6 ​​Kid program and since 2018 on Télétoon +.https://youtu.be/KGkjjdpHWvA

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

So 1990's Three Men and a Little Lady is a sequel to 1987's Three Men and a Baby, Starring Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, and Steve Guttenberg. The original is a fun, heartfelt (if a little corny) family movie with an interesting crime subplot tacked on. The Sequel is kind of a mess (check out the wiki for a synopsis of you need one, I'm not going to type it all out) in which the Three father's of Mary have been co-parenting with her mother Silvia perfectly for the past 5 years since the first movie (making the sequel cannonically take place in 1992). The conflict of the movie is that Silvia decides to get married pretty much out of nowhere, for more or less no good reason, and Tom Selleck just doesn't tell her he's into her, for no real reason. The plot is just a giant series of contrivences which all seem out of character all to facilitate going to England and becoming a comedy about stuffy British aristocrats for some reason. And the stuffy British Aristocrat comedy isn't even executed that well. It also felt like they were setting up Silvia's Mother (who disapproves of The Three Men) as some kind of antagonist, but nothing comes of her disapproval.

My fix is to remove Silvia and England from the movie all together, and replace the central tension with a custody battle instead of a marriage.

The movie should open establishing how The Three Men have helped Silvia get back on her feet and how after a year or so, Silvia got to a place where she felt she could take care of the baby again on her own, and co-parents with Ted Danson while they live in NY. Steve Guttenberg and Tom Selleck have returned to their careers, restablisbing a semblance of the status quo from the beginning of the first movie. All three men have kind of gone their seperate ways though, with Ted Danson in a big movie with Silvia, Tom Selleck managing a major skyscraper development company, and Steve Guttenberg the proud author of a series of best selling illustrated children's books recapping the events of the first movie. They all still hang out, and see Mary occasionally, but have become more self absorbed and no longer live together.

Then one day, tragically during a rehearsal for the movie Ted Danson and Silvia are in, Silvia is injured by a malfunctioning special effect. The injury leaves her in a coma, with the doctors unsure if she will make a recovery, or remain in a coma. So, Ted Danson must take care of Mary full time, but can't manage it because of his career, so calls Tom

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.