Ka-chow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swiss64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Chow down on the food that’s served, you’re going to get a good dessert
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πŸ‘€︎ u/91lightning
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Ho Chow calls into work

Ho Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." His boss says, You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you, I go to my wife and ask her for sex, that makes everything better and I go to work. Try it." Two hours later Ho Chow calls again. "I do what you say and feel great, I be at work soon. You have a nice house too"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What is an Italian person's favorite kind of dog?

Chow..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bishop825
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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What’s Lightning McQueen’s favorite takeout order?

Chicken Ka-Chow mein

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adraz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What does Lightning McQueen feed his cat?

Cat-chow!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casybaseball
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What is Lighting McQueen's favorite food

Cat chow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangAMA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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What does an Italian dog eat?

Dog Ciao.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshtakStern
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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I had to throw away our Chinese purebred's rotten food.

Ciao Chow Chow chow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
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Not necessarily a dad joke, but a good retiree joke/brief story just using that wit.

A Retiree's Last Trip to Sam's Club

Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two handfuls every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care,because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thefluffydinosaur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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My best puns!
  1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  2. You have to rush Limbaugh!

3.My noodle soup doesn't taste that good. It really laksa certain quality.

4.I know its cheesy, but I feel grate!

  1. can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

6.How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

7.What was Forrest Gump's email password? "1forrest1"

8.I CAN because I'm a CANadian!

9.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

10.Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

11.Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

12.There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...

AND MY FAVOURITE! 13.I was at the scene of a crime, it took place at a cartoonists house, we couldnt find work though, it was sketchy.

IM STILL WORKING ON #12 Post your favourite/own pun in the comments, this will now be... Puntastic! Also OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS! THEY HAVE LAYERS! Chow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CORALGRIMES357
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2015
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