Chaim Topol Puns

I’m just curious what five musicals would you select for a deserted island type situation.

For me:

1. Parade
2. The Producers
3. Fiddler on the Roof
4. Next to Normal
5. The Lion King

Parade is my absolute favorite musical of all time. The OBC album is something that I tend to put on if I cannot think of anything to listen too. I just love it so much. (I would cry if this got a revival. I keep hoping…)

The Producers, I just love the team of Natan Lane and Matthew Broderick. The writing is fantastic and I love the songs. I even love both movie versions.

Fiddler on the Roof was my first introduction to musicals. Though, it was the movie version with Chaim Topol as Tevye. I’ve come to appreciate the OBC with Zero Mostel (who was the original Max in the film of the Producers), even though I slightly prefer Topol.

Next to Normal is one that I’ve only recently fallen in love with. A friend suggested it to me, and I was blown away.

The Lion King is one that I would love to see on Broadway eventually. For as much as the animated film is so dear to me, the musical adds so much more to an already wonderful story.

Best Picture

1. A Clockwork Orange

2. The Last Picture Show

3. The French Connection

4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

5. Fiddler on the Roof

6. The Emigrants

7. Harold and Maude

8. McCabe & Mrs. Miller

8. A New Leaf

10. Klute

Best Director

1. Stanley Kubrick for A Clockwork Orange
2. William Friedkin for The French Connection
3. Peter Bogdanovich for The Last Picture Show
4. Robert Altman for McCabe & Mrs. Miller
5. Jan Troell for The Emigrants

Best Lead Actor

1. Malcolm McDowell as Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange
2. Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
3. Gene Hackman as Det. Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection
4. Chaim Topol as Τevye in Fiddler on the Roof
5. Peter Finch as Dr. Daniel Hirsh in Sunday Bloody Sunday

Best Lead Actress

1. Jane Fonda as Bree Daniels in Klute
2. Liv Ullmann as Kristina Nilsson in The Emigrants
3. Ruth Gordon as Dame Marjorie "Maude" Chardin in Harold and Maude
4. Elaine May as Henrietta Lowell in A New Leaf
5. Julie Christie as Constance Miller in McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Best Supporting Actor

1. Ben Johnson as Sam the Lion in The Last Picture Show
2. Jeff Bridges as Duane Jackson in The Last Picture Show
3. Roy Scheider as Det. Buddy "Cloudy" Russo in The French Connection
4. Jack Albertson as Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
5. Leonard Frey as Motel Kamzoil in Fiddler on the Roof

Best Supporting Actress

1. Cloris Leachman as Ruth Popper in The Last Picture Show
2. Ellen Burstyn as Lois Farrow in The Last Picture Show
3. Cybill Shepherd as Jacy Farrow in The Last Picture Show
4. Ann-Margret as Bobbie in Carnal Knowledge
5. Diana Rigg as Miss Barbara Drummond in The Hospital

Best Original Screenplay

1. Harold and Maude
2. The Hospital
3. Klute
4. Murmur of the Heart
5. Sunday Bloody Sunday

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. The Last Picture Show
2. A Clockwork Orange
3. The French Connection
4. A New Leaf
5. McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Best Animated Film

1. The Cat in the Hat
2. The Point

**Best Non-English

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Best Picture

1. A Clockwork Orange

2. The Last Picture Show

3. The French Connection

4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

5. Fiddler on the Roof

6. The Emigrants

7. Harold and Maude

8. McCabe & Mrs. Miller

8. A New Leaf

10. Klute

Best Director

1. Stanley Kubrick for A Clockwork Orange
2. William Friedkin for The French Connection
3. Peter Bogdanovich for The Last Picture Show
4. Robert Altman for McCabe & Mrs. Miller
5. Jan Troell for The Emigrants

Best Lead Actor

1. Malcolm McDowell as Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange
2. Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
3. Gene Hackman as Det. Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection
4. Chaim Topol as Τevye in Fiddler on the Roof
5. Peter Finch as Dr. Daniel Hirsh in Sunday Bloody Sunday

Best Lead Actress

1. Jane Fonda as Bree Daniels in Klute
2. Liv Ullmann as Kristina Nilsson in The Emigrants
3. Ruth Gordon as Dame Marjorie "Maude" Chardin in Harold and Maude
4. Elaine May as Henrietta Lowell in A New Leaf
5. Julie Christie as Constance Miller in McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Best Supporting Actor

1. Ben Johnson as Sam the Lion in The Last Picture Show
2. Jeff Bridges as Duane Jackson in The Last Picture Show
3. Roy Scheider as Det. Buddy "Cloudy" Russo in The French Connection
4. Jack Albertson as Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
5. Leonard Frey as Motel Kamzoil in Fiddler on the Roof

Best Supporting Actress

1. Cloris Leachman as Ruth Popper in The Last Picture Show
2. Ellen Burstyn as Lois Farrow in The Last Picture Show
3. Cybill Shepherd as Jacy Farrow in The Last Picture Show
4. Ann-Margret as Bobbie in Carnal Knowledge
5. Diana Rigg as Miss Barbara Drummond in The Hospital

Best Original Screenplay

1. Harold and Maude
2. The Hospital
3. Klute
4. Murmur of the Heart
5. Sunday Bloody Sunday

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. The Last Picture Show
2. A Clockwork Orange
3. The French Connection
4. A New Leaf
5. McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Best Animated Film

1. The Cat in the Hat
2. The Point

**Best Non-English