COM file Puns

Hopefully this post is allowed. 5 or so years ago, I decided to post puns that I either came up with or enjoyed a lot. My goal was to make it easy to find puns based on a topic or subject. So I heavily tagged all of the entries with relevant information. I've consistently uploaded new puns on at least a weekly basis, but usually every 3 days.

I've amassed a large collection that I've decided to open source. I've dumped my database into a JSON file that is open and free to use (with proper attribution).

Let me know what you think!
https://punatorium.com/opun

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0699/6735/products/mini-wing-spoiler_copy_x1400.jpg?v=1508404270

This might work.

I know a guy that crushes pepsi cans for a living. It's soda pressing.

Seize the day!

this

A duck got a job at a farm, where there was a chicken who ran the place. The chicken was delighted to have the duck join his crew, he personally took the duck around the place and introduced him to all the other farm animals. At the end of the tour the duck asked a question. Duck: Is there anything I should avoid doing here? Chicken: Don't cross the road, you'll never hear the end of it.

Bonus: http://blog.rafihecht.com/files/2013/02/chicken-crossing-road.jpg

So I'm over at my cousin's house and her husband hits me with this:

If you have cheese but no crackers, are you crack 'a' lackin'

My mom made stuffed peppers with with Shepherd's pie ground beef instead of stuffed pepper mix. So my dad goes... "I guess these are Shepherd's Peppers!"

He couldn't wait to spit that one out and had a great big laugh. Then told it again because my mom wasn't in the room.

Edit.. I don't think some people know the food involved. Stuffed peppers are these. And shepherds pie is this

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

https://futurefarmerslivehere.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/img_6613.jpg

Using this image, can you give me a good catch phrase that is punny using around 7 letters or fewer, and having something to do with taxes, finance, helping people. The t-shirt is for a volunteer group at a law school that helps indigent people file taxes and participates in community education and advocacy in the area of financial literacy.

Thanks for all of your help!

Because he doesn't.

Context: Rapper 50 Cent files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

So i was ask to post it here from a post in /r/screenshots/ , so i thought i'd add a story to it:

So, my father had asked me to make him a little sign up website, basic HTML format, that he could then copy and paste into a wordpress site that his Go-kart association uses. I made it, put it into a zip file, and e-mail him. I sent him a text to check his e-mail and how to use it. His response was this:

http://imgur.com/gallery/IG7mqVs

https://axbymag.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/punbearable.png

...and pulled this out of his wallet.

While driving with my Mom and brother we passed several sets of power lines crossing over a river, many of which had marker balls on them. My mom asked why some of the lines didn't have balls, I told her it was because those were girl power lines.

"Why can't you ask a German how high his sunflower is?" "(oh god) Why?" "Cause he'll say, 'ZIS HIGH! http://emptysuit.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/504842c.jpg'"