Buddy cop Puns

Film Producer: “This is supposed to be a “Buddy Cop” movie, why do they have this steamy sex scene together?”

Director: “Because everyone enjoys cop-porn at the movies!”

I'm watching it with her, and halfway through the movie something clicks in my head.

Me: "Holy shit I just got it,this is a bunny cop movie"

GF: ......

ME:" instead of a buddy cop movie"

And then she proceeded to beat me

A guy finds 3 penguins so he brings them up to a cop and says, “hey, what should I do I found these 3 penguins “ the cop replies, “I don’t know, take them to the zoo”. The next day the cop pulls the guy over and the 3 penguins are in the back seat with beach towels and sunglasses. The cop says, “hey buddy, I thought I told you to take these things to the zoo “ the guy replies, “I did, we had a blast. Today we’re going to the beach”

Paul has a shitty life, his wife constantly berates him, his job sucks, his boss is a bully, his car is a shitty 85 ford pinto with a cracked windshield and is in bad need of a new transmission and to top it all off he's chubby, balding, and he has a small penis.

The only thing good in Paul's life is his friend Artie. Artie isn't the brightest bulb in the world, but he's always been there for Paul in the tough times. On October 5, 1953 Artie stood up for Paul against his bully in 7th grade. Artie got his ass handed to him at that time, but so did Paul. That incident resulted in a life long friendship. Paul and Artie went to the same High School together. They traveled around Europe that one summer in college. Artie was Paul's best man at his wedding. Everyone thought speech Artie gave was terrible, But Paul loved it Artie was his best friend.

Artie's life wasn't much better either, he never had the smarts for that great Job. In fact he was stuck in a dead end job as a construction labourer. Artie's car was pretty shitty too. Artie never married, but he was happy in the knowledge that at least he didn't end up with Paul's shitty wife.

For Paul's 46th birthday Artie was pretty broke, so all he could get his friend was a single lottery ticket. Artie being the sentimental guy that he was picked the date of the start of their friendship, and their respective ages (46, 45). Paul loved the present, and thought that the two of them should go to the Legion that friday to split a round of beers and listen to them call out the numbers.

On Friday they are both sitting there at the Legion having a laugh over a couple of beers when the cute lottery girl comes on the t.v. to read out the numbers. Paul pulls out the ticket and spreads it out on the beer stained table in front of them. The lottery girl starts reading out the numbers, 45, 10, 05. Both of Paul and Artie's hearts start beating, thats 200$ already. 53, Holy crap thats like a 10, 000 ticket. They both start losing their shit. 46....... Paul feints. He just won the jackpot. 37million dollars.

Two minutes later Artie finally revives Paul. Paul and Artie celebrate the night away, buy round after round for the people at the Legion and get absolutely shittered. They close out the bar and as the ugly lights come on they stumble blitzed, singing, onto the street arm in arm with the winning lottery ticket in hand and start the long walk back to Paul's place.

Halfway home, Paul comes to two drunken

Okay I had an idea. So it's a buddy cop show except that the cop is a bike cop and his partner is the bike and the bike is alive and mean.

So then they would do a good cop and bad cop thing and then the good cop would leave the bike alone with the suspect and then come back in and the suspect would be all beat up and saying "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BIKE AGAIN" and then the cop would be like

well I did warn you that it's a VICIOUS CYCLE

I was on training hike with a bunch of my buddies last year for a major trek we were taking that summer. We were hiking Stone Mountain in Georgia starting about the time the park opened. When we had all geared up, we set off to hike the mountain a few times. When we got to the base of the trail, there was a cop there stopping people for going up. Someone asked what was wrong. The cop replied, "There are three rabid dogs on the mountain, we have closed the trail until we can contain them." My friend, really disappointed that we couldnt go up just yet, asked when the trail would be open again. The cop replied, "I don't know sir, the dogs don't really have sense of time or schedules." Without even hesitating, I said, "I guess they aren't watch dogs." The cop was stunned into silence, every single one of my friends yelled their groans. I was 17, and I had to check that I wasnt a father