Had to tell my family we can't take the boat to the lake cause my truck broke down. Fortunately, avocado.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slartibradfast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I keep thinking about how fun it would be to get a couple friends and go out to the lake. Maybe rent a pontoon boat.

I dunno, I’ll float the idea by my brother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eff_tee_dub
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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How does a flower get a boat across the lake?

It rose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwfabrication
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I saw a boat out on a saltwater lake!

It was saline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xakik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake

I feel like canoe person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skillshy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Anytime and every time we see a boat at the seaside, lake, river etc...

"I can see a boat, canoe?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hakunamatattas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostPin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Music selection on a boat

Some friends of mine like to rent a boat every year and go enjoy a quiet day of nice summer weather on a nice lake. One friend brought a stereo with her this year and asked everybody, "What kind of tunes does everyone want to listen to?"

I told her, "Pon-tunes!"

Groans were had by everyone else on the boat.

Edit: We were on a pontoon boat, not a pond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/admiralkit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2015
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Piggybacked on the captain's dad joke.

Family and I went on a fancy boat tour of a local rich lake. The captain provided a running narrative over the intercom about the history of the houses, etc.

Captain: You'll notice all the piers look the same on the lake. There's no law governing that, everyone just agrees they should use the same color and materials. Some might call that "pier pressure."

Crowd: (groans)

Me: I think we need to dock him some points for that one...

Wife: (groans and pretends not to know me)

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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Nautical Nonsense

Was at my friends cabin helping him ready the boat to go out on the lake. Friend: "Looks like we're in good shape" Me: "Yeah, ship shape"

He was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petersk8008
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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Apparently my sister is a dad.

Out on the lake today, my cousin yells from the water "Do we have any sunscreen on the boat?"

My sister says "I don't think the boat needs any sunscreen."

She laughed. She laughed a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justanorangehere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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The conversation that almost got me kicked off the boat

I was on a very nice boat party with my friend, his father and a group of their high class friends. We were in lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans, and one of the elitist sailors was trying to determine if I was seaworthy and see if I even knew where I was.

I said "Sure thing", started pointing left "over there is the port of New Orleans", now pointing to the right "and over here is the starboard of New Orleans".

My friend's dad heard the joke, and while laughing a bit he told me "One more bad joke and I'm kicking you off". To which I replied, "You're right, I should have let the opportunity sail away."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendMeASmile
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
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On a boat

I am visiting my parents, and today my dad and I went out sailing on the lake. We put the boat in, and then needed to tie it off to the dock while getting situated. My dad handed me a big tangled mess of rope, and suggested I untangle it and moor the boat with it. It was more tangled than any headphones I've seen. After a few moments I exclaimed in frustration, "who the hell put this rope away last?"
My dad quickly retorted, "I'm not sure, but they were certainly knoty."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendanvista
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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