For proper gander purposes.
He said I needed some supervision when working with dangerous tools.
I'll tell you what, they saw me coming
I personally am on the fence
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round
You paint its toenails red.
...
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
...
See how good it works‽
No, they’re binoculars.
A plane takes off from an airport in a diagonal ascent for 8km. 5km from the liftoff point a passenger flushes a turd down the toilet. Right then a farmer with a pair if binoculars watching the plane from directly underneath the aircraft sees the turd jettisoned, and exclaims. That's a high pot in use!
My family was staying in a vacation home last week. We noticed a pair of binoculars resting on the windowsill. We were all disappointed to discover they were fake and had just been placed there for decoration.
Mom: Darn. Now I wish we had a pair with us. Too bad there's not a place called "Rent-Noculars" where you can rent them.
Dad: Unfortunately, dear, you always have to buy-noculars
Everyone groaned except my dad and I who both shared a good laugh
I came home form college so my dad and I could continue to watch the superbowl together. After halftime he came back wearing binoculars. He would hold them up to his eyes and look over the TV every so often. Then he said, "Son i can't find the owl."
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Dad: "Well don't look at me... the newspaper said the superb-owl was going to be on the tv today."
My Mom is big into birds and my folks have a friend who works in our local (small town) air control tower that let them come up from time to time to search for Snowy Owls (apparently they like the open plains that an airport provides). Anyways this is the text exchange between me and my dad:
Dad: (pic of mom with binoculars looking out the control tower)
Me: great pic! Seeing anything?
Dad: airplanes
So I told him I was busy Sunday because I had to make sure I saw a friend of mine.
His reply: "Well binoculars aren't that expensive!"
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round...
