Iβm worried about my cousin. Heβs 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. Heβs into girls. Ooh, thereβs cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousinβs social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, thereβs even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tomβs shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin wonβt shut up about how he bought them all. Heβs got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. Itβs really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, Iβm telling him that this isnβt healthy behavior, and Iβm encouraging him to seek counseling. Iβm convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.
After my first serving, I was still hungry so I asked for 'more cow Belle.'
Shes won the "No-Belle" prize
I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.
Buh dum tiss
He had experience in molecular Gastonomy.
She's into Beastiality
I asked my daughter "can you make me a bowl of the camo ice cream? It's in the freezer, but you might have trouble finding it.."
She called me cringe-worthy.
Because their horns donβt work
A dumbbell
Because their horns donβt work. π
(Courtesy of my 9 year old).
It has a nice ring to it.
Because he didn't habenero!
It was a dawn ting task.
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
But it was just my cold field.
It fell on deaf ears.
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.
Dunnnnggggg
Itβs also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
He was later awarded the Nobel prize
It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be
He tolled everyone off
Good Tie-dings to all men!
Lord Of The Dings
βOh, and what is this special talent?β Asked the priest.
The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.
At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!
βYouβre hired!!β He exclaimed.
The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.
The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.
A bystander asked βwho is he?β
The priest responded βI donβt know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!β
And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.
"I'll show you",said Stan.
They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.
"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."
"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"
"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.
All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.
"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.
Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."
"But his face sure rings a bell"
Urine business.
βIsabellβ,he said
Because their horns dont work
Their horns donβt work.
Because their horns don't work.
Because their horns don't work. Β―_(γ)_/Β―
Because their horns don't work.
Because their horns don't work.
Because their horns donβt work.
Dung
