You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
One time I accidentally ate horse and it sent me to the ER
Doctor said I was ‘stable’
If horses gallop and trot,
Do sea horses scallop and trout?
Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
What is the best type of cheese to hide a horse in?
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
What kind of horse is the fastest?
A pregnant one, Because it has 2 horsepower
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face...
The horse not being able to comprehend the language shits on the floor and leaves
Two horses in a field, one says to the other “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse’
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
Have you ever heard the sound of horses running?
It's too good too good too good too good.
What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?
A Chi-horse
Sorry, this is the worst joke I have ever made
What do you a call the offspring of a horse and cow?
I lost big at the horse races tonight.
They were so much faster than me.
Two extraordinarily large horses were sitting at the bar having a beer. Guy walks in and says to the bartender. "Hey, what's with the Clydesdales?" Bartender says,
What did one horse say to the other after playing FIFA?
What did the horse say when he fell?
If you put a horse on a balance beam, would it be called a gallop pole?
Why was the horse voted out of Congress?
Because he was always voting Neigh
Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.
Doctors say he is in stable condition.
A horse walks into a bar and sits at a stool near the bartender. The bartender goes "Hi Horse, what can I get for you today?"
The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"
I have a horse that's really asthmatic and I'm scared it may not make it. The vet prescribed some
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
What do you call a horse that came from the north?
Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.
He’s listed in serious but stable condition.
Why are people with dairy allergies afraid of horses?
Your grandparents are planning their funeral arrangements in advance. Grandma wants to be transported in a horse and carriage grandpa wants a Ferrari.
Setting up to be a real race to the finish but I think Grandpa is winning this one.
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party
They quickly became the centaur of attention
Why did the horse get a divorce
His wife and him werent in a stable relationship
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder
Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.
"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."
"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."
The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.
Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
I was reading a book about an immortal horse the other day.
It was impossible to put down
You hear about the new bomb made out of horses?
I got a job cleaning the building where the horses are kept.
It's not much but it's stable work.
My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.
It's a perfect em-mule-ation.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
Heard about the homeless horse?
Why are the horse stalls at a racetrack labelled A, B, D, E, and F?
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse but only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
A horse walks into a bar... the bartender asks, “why the long face?”
The horse, not being able to comprehend human language, promptly shits on the floor and leaves.
A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him
What did the horse say when he fell down?
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