If you can't tritium, you just gotta barium
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If you can't tritium, you just gotta barium
πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Do we cremate dead chemists?

No, we Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Sodium annoying when people don’t get it
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gretchennnmarie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Take your bad science puns and baruim
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FabricioPezoa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you dispose of a dead chemist's body?

You barium

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the chemical composition of snow changes from "H2O" to "Ba" when it covers your car?

Because it barium

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Haze
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
First date

A man getting ready for his first date felt a bit out of his element so he phoned his friend, a scientist. To console the guy, the scientist tells him, "Just bismuth. You just might have some chemistry."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
whats a morticians favorite element?

barium

okbye

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jennerzerz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Great list of excellent puns

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crΓͺpes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop

any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd

never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians in America first? They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she

couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A theasaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The

police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

My friend sent me these puns idk source just thought you would enjoy

πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benschweiz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Chemistry jokes are the best.

But sometimes you just gotta Barium because all the good ones Argon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alftrazign
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a gravedigger's favorite element?

barium

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I mentioned to my coworkers I used to be a chemistry major, the dad who sits behind me asks:

What do you get with 1 barium and 2 sodiums? After thinking about it for a few seconds... I turned around to tell him I didn't know.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ePrime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do chemists do when a colleague dies?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeptil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium


What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe


What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A β€˜gram’ cracker.


What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)


What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.


How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a β€œcarbonkneel”


What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.


How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.


Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down


Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Chemistry pun

Well, sorry to radon your parade, but all of your belongings from your house argon. Someone stole them, and judging by the evidence, whoever stole them would want to barium. There he is! Cesium! Don't let him get away!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/5wag_5andwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2012
🚨︎ report
What happens to elements after they die?

They barium

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corleone_Michael
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium!

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when a chemist dies?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/speedyeddie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a chemist with Corona virus?

If you can't Curium or Helium you must Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cankles_of_Fury
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead Chemist?

You Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OppositeWolf770
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you cant helium Or curium You'll have to barium

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
So I accidentally killed a chemist the other day.

I asked my friend what to do. he said, "Just barium before the coppers catch us."

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greencash370
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a poorly chemist?

Well, if you can't curium or helium, you have to barium

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Let's take all these bad chemistry jokes

and barium

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyBlueCat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do chemists do with the dead?

They Barium

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/letrollface1279
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
🚨︎ report
There are too many dead chemistry jokes.

We need to barium

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fried_Cheesee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UserName-Error404
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What To Do With A Sick Chemist

If you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, you might as well Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadNic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnybou
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with chemists when they die?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaPtian_CaTe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't want to hear your periodic table jokes.

Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they do when a chemist dies?

They Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 295
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NESpahtenJosh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you do when a chemist dies?

You barium

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamJAK99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do when a scientist dies?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
When a chemist dies...

do they Barium?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hdwillis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Barium

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/venki131
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did anyone hear about the chemist who died??

Yeah, they had to barium.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ladylackluck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead scientist?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDesertMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Chemistry jokes may be old and dead.

But I just can't seem to Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerrymadd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2012
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eperezrubio1
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report

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