The bartender says "Sorry I don't serve minors"
I have zero K ($) to my name
Because they're all not 'C's.
Damn!
I just majorly fucked up.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
Happy No L!
It stands for “Before Christ, Eh?”
Focusing on the nicely lit up deer decorations on their lawn, I asked my kids, “How much do you think those deer weigh?” From the back seat: “I don’t know” and “Who cares?” and “What are you talking about?” Me: “I’m just saying, they look pretty light.”
P in psychology H in ghost A in aardvark T in gourmet B in comb E in hate A in musically T in listen S in island
And you get PHAT BEATS No one would hear them though because all those letters are silent
B o r a n g e
‘yes but just to prove you’ve been paying attention I’d like you to recite the alphabet first’
So with his best effort the boy replies ‘A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z’
The teacher says ‘very good but what happened to the P?’
‘Well this took so long it’s running down my leg’
He was eating a sandwich. I said "you're not allowed gluten, what's that?" He replied "it's b-r-e-a-d" I said "what, bread?"
He said "no, b-r-e-a-d. It's spelt bread"
- a) Because it was crude oil
- b) Because it wasn't refined
- c) Because it was a real gas
- d) Because it wasn't reserved
- e) Because it liked to say, "What the shale?" f) Because it was kerobsene
It just gives me the E B G B's
It gives me a case of the E G B Gs
What is the only word spelled at a spelling bee?
b e e.
R-a-c-e-c-a-r b-a-c-k-w-a-r-d-s.
"The earliest example of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
So I did.
M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S
"B!" She replied
"Oh hun....E!"
Two of them were still apprentices and learning the trade, but the third was a master at the craft and was also my friend. They were currently busy in the workshop working on a set of great wooden letters which spelled "BEAST". "Is your friend Paul the one working on the misshapen B?" Izzy asked. "Nope, that's not him.", I replied. "So is it the one working on the crooked E?"she responded. "Most certainly not!" I answered. I finally saw him and exclaimed, "On ST is the best Paul, Izzy!"
It gave me the E B G B's
My brother was recently deployed for the military, my dad likes to send him stuff to keep in touch. One day my father says,
"Son, remind me about the letters."
I respond "sure dad A, B, C, D, E, F, G....."
Edit: Punctuation (This is my first time posting anything on Reddit.)
a^(2) +b^(2) =E/m
I know it's hard to get, but my husband won't let it go. He is starting making dad jokes using formulas, please send help. 😂
They take you to point A,B,C and D. But they always land on "E".
Me: I saw the name Evelyn the other day, spelled E-I-B-L-E-A-N-N.
Mum: I always used to think the name Siobhan was pronounced See-Ob-Han too.
Dad: I knew a farmer once with a weird name, it was spelled E-I-E-I-O
You can get parts a,b,c,d but you've gotta fight for your right to part E
Billy: "Dad!"
Dad: "Yes Billy, what's wrong?"
Billy: "How do I get good grades?"
Dad: "Well, Billy. To get good grades you have to B paying attention A lot and after Some time you will C that D time and F-ort you spent on homework actually payed off. and then you just have to do that until your E-gr parents can praise you for your hard work.
2 hours later.
Phone: Rings
Dad: "Hello!"
Billy: "So dad, how much money should I give to her?"
Dad: "To who!?"
Billy: "To a girl in my class. You said that to get good grades then all I had to do was to give her money. Attention says it will be fine with 20$, but I don't know."
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
No-el no-L
Why did A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z all get sent to the principal's office?
Because they were naughty! (Not "E")
Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?
Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.
I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.
I'm missing the iron E.
It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.
but it skips b c d e f g h I j k l m n o and p
A B C D E F G H I ... JK
It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.
l, p, h, b, e and t
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Bourgeoisie.
